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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13016 Location: East Jesus, Maine
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:46 am Post subject: Today's Fluency Challenge |
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Here's the script I got:
Your challenge-- read these parts fast, because the copy is--IMAGINE THIS-- too long.
Quote: | C and R Flooring, New England’s wood floor specialists, is proud to introduce its revolutionary new “Dustless Floor-sanding System” which sucks up the dust directly from the sander, removing more than ninety-nine percent of the particles before they even enter the air.
C and R Flooring provides re-finishing services and a wide range of new hardwood installation options for clients throughout eastern Mass. |
_________________ DBCooperVO.com |
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11049 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:48 am Post subject: |
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That was interesting. Now tout la monde, try this ......
1. The water, essential resource for the humanity, has accompanied every form of life since ever, and it must be very well protected by using it in a intelligent and prudent way, as all the natural resources.
2. Just for that reason B.Meters started its activity on 1991. It is an Italian Company based in Gonars, Udine county, 100 kilometers far from Venice, which enjoys the experience of its founder and rapidly was breaking through the European market of water meters.
3. Thanks to the multi-years experience jointed to a strong will of having an own water meter brand, the production on behalf of others Company has been discontinued, starting a quality grow-up of the production, that led to establish our brand on the international markets.
4. The yearly production of one million pieces is placing the Company among the most important European and world manufacturer. As a matter of fact the Company can satisfy the client’s requirements from the engineering and designing of the water meter up to the automatic mass production.
5. The range of products is comprehensive of: Velocity meters either single jet and multi jet, with dry dial, wet dial and wet dial with protected rolls, As well as meters with pulse emitter device for long distance reading, heath meters, and water meters Woltmann type, for industries and irrigation purposes. As last enlargement of our products range, the Company has developed a water meter with radio transmission of the data.
6. The very accurate manufacturing process is carried out in 3 factories completely owned by the Company, with a covered space area of 9,000 square meters, and a opened space area of 10,000 sq.mt. with a very high automation degree.
7. But getting back to the quality of the B.METERS product, it is important to underline that our linear and table-rotating transfers for the water meter bodies machining, can guarantee a very high accuracy, and they are the starting point of a manufacturing process completely developed under a certified quality system. As a following step, the automatic assembling lines continue this process, undertaking very severe quality tests. At the end, electronics test benches approved by the Italian Industry Minister, are the final step of a high quality manufacturing route.
8. B.Meters is officially authorised to make the European primary verification by itself.
9. All that represents the precious technological heritage of a Company fully manufacturing all their components in Italy.. The best possible raw materials guarantee the high quality of our products.
10. All the water meters comply with the most stringent EEC 75/33 norms, and they have all the technical characteristics to be a reliable and accurate precision product. Quality is a vital issue for the Company.
11. That is the why B.Meters is ISO 9001-2000 quality certified Company . In order to enable the Company to develop international operations, the IQnet and CISQ certificates have been achieved .
All those guarantees are enabling the Company to operate with targets that have been reached after many years of experience in the specific field
12. Just for this will of endless growing-up, and for assuring a long-lasting presence on the markets, B.Meters has already established 5 branches abroad, in Spain, Hungary, Czech Republic, Poland and Romania.
13. B.METERS srl, ….. when the name means guarantee. |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13016 Location: East Jesus, Maine
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:53 am Post subject: |
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Trying to trump me, eh?
Why, you. . . . .
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11049 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 10:16 am Post subject: |
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Not at all. Yours has the edge as they speak and write English as a first language. My client is Italian so at least has an excuse. |
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anthonyVO 14th Avenue
Joined: 09 Aug 2005 Posts: 1470 Location: NYC
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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Do you charge for re-writing?
Great scan btw, db.
-Anthony |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13016 Location: East Jesus, Maine
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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Not a scan, My Man-- it's a screen-shot image of the e-mail fax they sent.
I didn't rewrite any of it-- my producer is the one who loads up the scripts with lines and underlines, slashies and exclamation points.
This copy reduced me to mush-mouth status right quick. _________________ DBCooperVO.com
Last edited by Deirdre on Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:10 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11049 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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If there's an obvious typo I don't make an issue out it but if I'm asked to edit and re-write then I charge. In the case of the production company that sent me the script above I record exactly what is written. Ever since I did the first job for them I have said to the producer "bad translation". Eventually I got fed up so said that it was his job to send only scripts that were cleared by the client to record. When this happened the production company changed translation services and things improved but some clients decided they would save money by using their own translators .......... Mmmmmmm that obviously worked!
The producer is based in Italy and his English is quite good so he enjoys editing my audio because of the ad libs. With a dull corporate you need something to keep you awake. |
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Bruce Boardmeister
Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 7926 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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One man's meat is another man's poison.
I tried reading them and found no problem. Crappily written copy, but I was able to read it smoothly (editing out the half breaths). But then I'm one for reading a bunch of 8-syllable medical terms flawlessly and then tripping over the word "this".
I was reading an audio book yesterday and made sausage out of a pretty straight forward paragraph. The engineer complained about editing all that and could I read the graph again? (Cheeky fellow.) I did and read it straight through without a hitch. Feh. Who knows?
On translating "ESL" scripts, I've done a bunch of Middle Eastern jobs and I've learned to just correct small grammar problems as I go. They haven't complained yet. If I ask first, they'll often insist on my reading it as written, or on my reading it both ways.
I've got a couple of American clients now who pay me two fees: first for rewriting and then recording.
B _________________ VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005
I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. . |
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anthonyVO 14th Avenue
Joined: 09 Aug 2005 Posts: 1470 Location: NYC
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting. Is that sheet a standard/publicly available sheet (i.e., with 10 and 30 sec markings)?
I have a client that has been giving me steady work for the past 2 months and pay the same day that I email them (via PayPal). It's for a nightclub and they're the promoters, but I don't charge them for editing and condensing because they have been very consistent business (WEEKLY since it's a Saturday party) - but they usually send me 45 seconds worth of copy for a :30 and 74 or so for a :60. No matter how many times I've sent them my re-write and told them to follow that as a guideline for :30 and :60 (mind you - it's already fast since it's an urban party) they continue to send me TOO much copy - needless to say, they can benefit from something like that sheet you were faxed (in blank)
-Anthony |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13016 Location: East Jesus, Maine
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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Kiddo-- you don't WANT this template.
We've been trying to get it OUT of the sales people's system for years!!
They're using 12-point ALL CAPS type-- Times I b'leeve-- and 20 lines is what the paper calls a ":60".
Bool-sheets.
18 lines, maybe. _________________ DBCooperVO.com |
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anthonyVO 14th Avenue
Joined: 09 Aug 2005 Posts: 1470 Location: NYC
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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too bad - I might need to put together one for my peeps... maybe in Excel and use macros that give errors like "Hey! WTF? You know you just started writing your second commercial right?"
-Anthony |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13016 Location: East Jesus, Maine
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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Well-- the notion is that every 3 lines is 10 seconds with this template, but they allow 20 lines for a :60--go figure. Should be more like every 2 lines is 10 seconds.
Read something that's 30 secconds and then block it that way-- you'll have 1.5 inch margins on each side or something-- and 12-16 lines.
But really-- templates are a bad idea. A 30-second spot is one that takes 30 seconds to read-- use a template and the nitwits try to cram as much as they can into it. _________________ DBCooperVO.com |
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11049 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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The problem with templates is that in the hands of sales people and clients they evolve from "rule of thumb" to "word of law" with no right of appeal. |
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anthonyVO 14th Avenue
Joined: 09 Aug 2005 Posts: 1470 Location: NYC
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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both very good points. i'll leave well enough alone.
-Anthony |
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