VO-BB - 19 YEARS OLD!

Fran McClellan · Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:46 am Post subject:

That's a pretty nice house...beautiful location Smile

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Back into the murky lurk from whence I came
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"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

Foog · Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:14 am Post subject:

Philip Banks · Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:29 am Post subject:

3 years ago I wandered around Shaldon and neighbouring Teignmouth with BFITEWE (best friend in the entire world ever). Holidays were spent there when I was very young.

To this day I remain impressed at how long BFITEWE was able to feign interest in tales of "The Never-Ending Adventures of Titchy PB"

Philip Banks · Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:48 am Post subject:

Life is an august adventure but sometimes people can be a pain. If you heard a bang about 3 hours ago it was my head exploding.

I SWORE and I swore at someone in anger, I never do that and particularly not in the business context. I apologised straight away.

I shall now spend 30 minutes singing songs of joy.

London based Lawyer having a large drink.

ccpetersen · Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:05 am Post subject:

I like the bit about beach access through smuggler's tunnels. We never have anything HALF that exciting in my neck of the woods. Instead, we have listings that read like this:

"Top of the world views from your 10,000-ft-elevation tin-roofed aerie, access to a town a mere 8 miles away over a mostly well-maintained former logging road, 4WD with high clearance required year-round, 20 percent grade ensures that all rain water will flow down and past this lovely, turn-of-the-(20th)-century home. Comes with high-speed Internet access (where high-speed is defined as slightly faster than a 1200 baud modem), inferred cellular access, propane bomb for heating, and much more. Banjo a necessity. Call now to book a viewing as soon as the snows melt."

And people just flock to the mountain here... Wink

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Philip Banks · Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:22 am Post subject:

A few years ago I met someone thanks to the joys of the interweb and in an introduction email they gave me their full educational background, commercial/entrepreneurial details, athletic achievements, special graduation honours and how each child had a super power which would eventually save mankind from tabloid journalism and terminal haemorrhoids. Yes, to a complete loser nobody in the heady world of Voice Overs it was vital to impress me or be cast aside like an unwanted Rubber Duck in the bath tub of life. The entire family was eventually dispatched by my Henchmen because it amused me.

Now, what of the winners? The VO people who when out for a walk run the risk of being run over by a speedboat, who are invited to weddings purely because of their ability to take Evian and create from it the finest Chablis or Margaux, do they need to posture? Are they secure in my presence?

At the SAG-AFTRA Poker thingy I made a point of saying hello to one of the greatest, most proflic TV promo VOs. Why? He and I have a mutual friend and I was asked by said friend to make myself known to " Le Géant"

"Hi, Le Géant? I'm Philip. Lipz Akimbo is a friend of mine and I promised him I'd make myself known to you"

Yer man took a deep breath and launched into his full work credits over his 30+ career, shook my hand again and walked away.

What no children with Super Powers?

DougVox · Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:59 am Post subject:

Philip Banks · Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:14 am Post subject:

In Portgordon you can frighten people by discovering by which particular rock they need to be standing in order to get a phone signal and then calling them.

"F***! I didn't know it did that. I thought it was for taking photos"

ccpetersen · Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:51 am Post subject:

OMG, that encounter with "Le Géant" reminds me of a story from a friend who went to some kind of voice meeting in Las Vegas years ago. He said it was a lot of deep-voiced guys all walking around sucking in their guts, shaking hands and saying, "Hi, I'm better than you."

My DH (the tuba player) says trumpet players do the same thing. Wink

LOVE the rock-as-cellular-tower possibilities! Might work up here...
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Philip Banks · Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 3:44 am Post subject:

All the 1001 skills we simply MUST have in addition to being a Voice were put in their place by a Producer when I asked him a question.

"No No. I'm paying you for your voice so all you ever need to do for me sir is speak."

$500 on how to use Adobe 6.2.3 version 9 for de-breathing room tone with a -58db noise floor and a muted mic completely wasted!

Philip Banks · Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:43 am Post subject:

Hi there, I'm Philip dot slash banks hyphen voiceoverist. expert slash top tipper enlarged colon smiley face and today I wanna tock about how to define your agent, you and YOUR c'reer as a voyz talon.

Do you have agents? How many? Today call each one in turn and tell them exactly how much business they need to find for you in the next 12 months; plenty of time as that's almost a whole entire year. Here's how you come up with the number. If you have 5 agents, are on one P2P site AND promote yourself then each agent is responsible for 1/7th of your Business Income Needs or BIN as I call it.

Once you arrive at the number, ANYONE or ANYTHING not cutting it or prepared to cut it gets fired TODAY ...TODAY ...THIS DAY ...RIGHT AWAY ..
NO SECOND CHANCE ...NO DEBATE .....NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT ...
15th September 2014 they are with you or you wave goodbye.

Y'know a lotta peoiple ask me how I run my bidnizz and how they should approach their bidnizzes. Some have even gone to nawmuzz 'spense to get my AWESOME coaching guidance. The secret of their ongoing struggles is they don't listen, don't act, they simply wait for another magic pill because the last one was faulty.

Now, should I offer you marriage or relationship advice PAY NO ATTENTION.

Hey, I'm Philip Banks and I'll see you the other side of your diaphragm - May your performance always be enhanced.

Philip Banks · Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:22 am Post subject:

Bruce · Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:18 am Post subject:

Is that the flag formerly known as the Union Jack?

If Scotland pulls away from the union at least the flag makers will be making a bit o' jack.

I wonder how a Brit living in Scotland might feel about all the brouhaha?

B
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I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .

Philip Banks · Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2014 12:55 am Post subject:

It's not a great idea. One very practical reason for leaving things as they are now is that the "Yes" vote would be putting people in power who have a track record of over spending on EVERYTHING by a factor of 10.

As someone with personal experience of how much damage one financially dyslexic Scot can inflict I dread to think of the waste land that awaits the brave new world.

The "keep our culture" argument is specious in the extreme. Kids in Buckie every Summer go to the prom, prefer a KFC or a Big Mac, holiday in Ibiza, support Manchester United, know how to twerk but not how to sword dance, speak French and German but not Gaelic. The parents work for banks like Santander or HSBC, drill for oil to swell the coffers of Exxon and when they eat out it's at The Bombay Brasserie.

How in touch with everything Scottish are the "Yes" voters? I've said to many people, all Scots, that I don't know what the motto for Scotland is now but it will be "We dinnae hae the funding". The interesting part is that not one person has told me Scotland's motto.

For the record it's Nemo me impune lacessit”, or: "No one provokes me with impunity". Which could be mine and henceforth is mine.

Philip Banks · Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:30 am Post subject:

Apparently I'm broke, financially challenged, down on my uppers, skint, in a fiscally negative environment. I didn't know this and the people from whom I buy things didn't know it either. Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs to whom I send money for income tax and Value Added Tax happily take my money every few months blissfully unaware that I have nothing.

My bank, keepers of a credit balance in two accounts the total of which would keep me and the Collies going for 5 years know that I am ...financially unsuitable, unworthy. They know this because they are a bank. My bank have known me for 21 years and have seen me stay out of trouble for 21 years know I am unworthy. My bank knows I am debt free and own a property know I am TOO much of a risk!

"Hey Nat, (Short for NatWest) give me a couple of hundred thousand to buy Mr Banks a house"

"Oh good heavens NO you can't afford it!"

Well, that was me told!

I have to trust their judgement as they know about losers. Last year alone my bank posted a pre-tax loss of $133 billion. Always trust experience.