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First commercial demo - would love some critique!

 
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Laurel S



Joined: 13 Mar 2015
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 5:56 pm    Post subject: First commercial demo - would love some critique! Reply with quote

Hi everyone! I've been lurking on the VO-BB site for many months now, and first of all, I want to thank you guys for the vast wealth of information that you share on this forum. As a newbie VO artist, it's been an invaluable resource.

I started out several years ago primarily as an audiobook narrator, and have recently been trying to break into other aspects of voiceover work.

I just had my first commercial demo produced, and would love to get some feedback on it.

https://soundcloud.com/laurel-schroeder-1/commercial-demo

Any thoughts/critiques/suggestions are welcome. Be as blunt as you like, I've got my thick skin on. Smile

Thanks a lot for your time!
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Frank F
Fat, Old, and Sassy


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 4421
Location: Park City, Utah

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laurel, you have a nice sound and it works well with some of the choices of demo parts.

I would put the "cheesecake" piece up front, it is your strongest part. also, mix by fading the parts of the demo not fading to black. Shortening your demo parts would also be a good suggestion for your demo.

A little more experience will help you with some inflections and stressing of words, but you have a great sound. I wish you sacks and sack of VO cash on your doorstep.

Frank F
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Be thankful for the bad things in life. They opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. email: thevoice@usa.com
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Laurel S



Joined: 13 Mar 2015
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Frank, that's really helpful! I'll move things around a bit and shorten the parts up.

This might be a dumb question, but how much does 'sense' matter in the clips in a demo? As far as trimming the parts down, does it matter if they're incomplete pieces?
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Frank F
Fat, Old, and Sassy


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 4421
Location: Park City, Utah

PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarcastic You made me laugh-out-loud. We are in a business which doesn't make sense. Much of the audio we record doesn't make sense.

Making sense in your demo is of no consequence. If you get lucky and can structure some pieces to continue on from the previous, and make a "semi" concurrent thought, you are lucky.

A demo is to show off what you can deliver to the table. Nothing more, nothing less. It will allow potential customers to hear your varied styles and presentations in a short clip of many parts.

Your demo will show that you are nothing short of AMAZING!

Frank F
_________________
Be thankful for the bad things in life. They opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. email: thevoice@usa.com
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Laurel S



Joined: 13 Mar 2015
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I aim to entertain. Wink Thanks Frank! Your insight is so helpful and much appreciated.
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yarg28
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 25 Aug 2014
Posts: 267
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought some of the spots seemed a bit long. 5 spots in 1:10 seems a little out of proportion.

I felt like the music on the last 2 was a little low. Especially the second to last one. Maybe the volume was ok but it just didnt seem in balance with your voice.

spot 1 and spot 3 both had horns as the base of the music. I thought they really sounded similar.

not bad over all. Probably just nitpicking; but you asked Smile
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Laurel S



Joined: 13 Mar 2015
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nitpicking was exactly what I wanted! Smile I'm definitely going to cut down the length of the pieces, and I'll see if I can balance out the music better. Thanks for the input!
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