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Sound engineer genius
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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 6681
Location: saul lay seetee youtee

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i wonder if michael douglas pissed off the engineer? and that's why (clearly, audibly) he had but one take ! <cymbal clash>

boy! i'd sure like a portable mute button to silence regular people who sound like that bitc ... uh ... FVO Wink
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melissa eX
MMD


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 2794
Location: Lower Manhattan, New Amsterdam, the original NYC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No wonder the price of gasoline is so high.... what with all this bridge burning going on.

rule # 4 - People usually remember more about YOU than about your read - especially if you're a PITA.
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jrodriguez315
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1202
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He could have been a great VO Artist, if only . . .

Orson Welles - Frozen Peas

Orson Welles: “We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there.” Do you really mean that?

Director 1: Uh, yes, so in other words, I–I–I’d start half a second later.

Welles: Don’t you think you really want to say “July” over the snow? Isn’t that the fun of it?

D 1: It’s–if–if you can (laughs) if you can make it almost when that shot disappears, it’ll make more–

Welles: I think it’s so nice that–that you see a snow-covered field and say “every July peas grow there”. “We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there.” We aren’t even in the fields, you see? (pause) We’re talking about them growing and she’s picked them. (clears throat) What?

D 1: …in July.

Welles: I don’t understand you, then. When must–what must be over for “July”?

D 1: Uh, when we get out of that snowy field–

Welles: Well, I was out! We were onto a can of peas, a big dish of peas when I said “in July”.

D 1: Oh, I’m sorry, Orson.

Welles: Yes, always. I’m always–past that!

D 1: You are?

Welles: Yes! Wh–that’s about where I say “in July”.

Director 2: Can you emphasize a bit “in”? “In July.”

Welles: Why? That doesn’t make any sense. Sorry. There’s no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with “in” and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say “in July” and I’ll… go down on you. That’s just idiotic, if you’ll forgive me by saying so.

D 2: (indistinct chatter)

Welles: That’s just stupid. “In July”? I’d love to know how you emphasize “in” in “in July”… Impossible! Meaningless!

D 1: I think all they were thinking about was that they didn’t want to–

Welles: He isn’t thinking.

D 1: Orson, can we just do one last time–

Welles: Yeah.

D 1: …and it was my fault. I should–I said “in July”. If you could leave “every July”–

Welles: You didn’t say it. He said it.

D 1: …I said “every July”.

Welles: Your friend. “Every July”?

D 1: …so after this shot…

Welles: No, you don’t really mean “every July”?

D 1: …it is, but it’s…

Welles: But that’s–that’s bad copy. It’s in July. Of course it’s every July! There’s too much directing around here.

Part Two: Fish Fingers

Welles: Norway. Fish finger, nor, Findus, Norway. “We know a certain fjord in Norway, near where the cod gather in great shoals. There, Jan Stan–, Stangdilan,” shit!

D 1: A fraction more on the–on that shoals thing, ‘cause you rolled it round very nicely.

Welles: Yeah, roll it round and I have no more time. You don’t know what I’m up against. Because it’s full of–of–of things that are only correct because they’re grammatical, but they’re tough on the ear. You see, this is a very wearying one, it’s unpleasant to read. Unrewarding. “Because Findus freeze the cod at sea and then add a crumb, crisp…” ooh, “crumb, crisp coating.”

D 1: (indistinct chatter)

Welles: Ah, that’s tough. “Crumb, crisp coating.”

D 2: (indistinct chatter)

Welles: I think, no, because of the way it’s written, you need to break it up because it’s not–it’s not as conversationally written. What?

D 1: Take “crumb” out.

D 2: (sounds like) That’s the word.

Welles: Take “crumb” out. Good.

Part Three: Beef Burgers

Welles: Here under protest is “beef burgers.” “We know a little place in the American Far West, where Charlie Briggs chops up the finest prairie-fed beef and tastes…” This is a lot of shit, you know that? You want one more?

D 2: I do, actually...

Welles: More on “buck beef”?

D 1: You–you missed the first “beef”, actually completely.

Welles: What do you mean, missed it?

D 1: You–you’re emphasizing “prairie-fed”–

Welles: But you can’t emphasize “beef”, that’s like he’s wanting me to emphasize “in” before “July”. Come on, fellas, you’re losing your heads! I wouldn’t direct any living actor like this in Shakespeare! Will you do this, it’s impossible!

D 1: Orson, you did six last year, and by far and away the best, and I know the–the reason–

Welles: The right reading for this is the one I’m giving it!

D 1: For the moment.

Welles: I spent… twenty times more for you people than any other commercial I’ve ever made. You are such pests! Now, what is it you want?

D 1: Now, I think–

Welles: In your depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? Whatever it is you want, I can’t deliver it because I just don’t see it.

D 1: That was absolutely fine, it really was.

Welles: Here, you– (crumples script, stands uHobo Happy This isn’t worth it. No money is worth listening to… (leaves studio)
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todd ellis
A Zillion


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 10537
Location: little egypt

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
especially if you're a PITA


i wasn't aware greek pocket bread got much vo work to begin with.



mmmmmm, gyro ....
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Charles Nove
Contributor III


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 98
Location: London, England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Sound engineer genius Reply with quote

Philip Banks wrote:
"There's something wrong here! Is there anything you can do to make me sound better?"
Matt the sound thinks for a moment.
"Let me try something". He then hits her mic's mute button.

Superb! Reminds me of the BBC Radio sound man pushed beyond endurance by the diva-like behaviour of a well known national radio and tv presenter who, on arrival for her weekly radio show, had been horrified to discover that the engineer had not yet plugged her headphones in. Moving her cigarette to the corner of her mouth, voice laden with disdain, she picked up the headphone plug and said "do you expect me to plug this in myself?".

Engineer: "No thanks. In the desk will do."
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Charles Nove
Scottish voice-artist, to the world ... and beyond!

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davidmonteath
Lucky 700


Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 755
Location: Buckinghamshire, UK

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh
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Proud member of Self Appointed Voice-Over Experts Discussion Group - overenthusiastic pontification a speciality.
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