VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 12:34 pm Post subject: Been a long time....New Demo

Hello everyone.....I haven't had a new commercial demo since I started in this business a year ago. I have a new commercial demo that I would like to submit here for your listening. I know there isn't a huge variety of styles on here, but I only included what I feel I can deliver in real life. I want to accurately reflect what I can do and not what I cannot do, or would have a hard time delivering. So with that in mind, could you please give this a listen and let me know how it sounds. Some of you may remember my original one.....hahahahaha...even i know this one is an improvement over that, so you won't have to cringe at least.....lol
BTW.....thanks to Diane Maggipinto who kindly provided my opening slate.
Oh.....I'm planning on taking this to Vegas for critique as well. Just wanted a general feel for it before embarrassing myself there.....hahahaha

EDIT!!!!
Old demo link removed......version 2 demo link on the next page.
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TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

mcm · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 12:45 pm Post subject:

Tom, nice job - I think you will get a lot of work with that demo. And I love the slate!!!

But, erm, that Costa Rica spot... did you produce it? You have a Common Loon calling in the background. There are no, absolutely, no Common Loons in Costa Rica. That's a bird associated with northern places anyway and this is not just MCM being bird-centric, somebody else will notice too.

Just sayin'.

Edit: Ooh! ooh! ooh! Looky what I found for you: songs of >23 species of Costa Rican birds! These are birds of Santa Rosa National Park, in the NW corner of the country, and your spot is by the ocean, no? But at least it's closer than the lakes of Minnesota Wink

Anyway I'm sure some of these guys would be appropriate background music for you.

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:04 pm Post subject:

OMG! I had no idea about the loon.....no I didn't produce that spot. hahaha Mary you are too funny. I would have never known if you hadn't pointed that out. Thank you for the critique. I was way over due for a new demo. I appreciate the kind words...thanks.
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TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

bobsouer · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject:

Tom,

Check your email for some thoughts from me. But, I echo what Mary wrote, this is good stuff.
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Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:36 pm Post subject:

Bob....check your email
_________________
TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

Philip Banks · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:40 pm Post subject:

Were you directed by someone in order to get the sounds and reads I heard?

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:47 pm Post subject:

No Banksey. Those were all self directed spots. The gardening spot had some sketchy generic direction, like a cross between conversational and narration.
The Nissan spot wanted the big, over the top car dealer voice....other than that no direction......I just gave them my best interpretation.
_________________
TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

Philip Banks · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 3:53 pm Post subject:

Thanks Tom. For the next demo get a director involved. It could even be someone at the end of a phone if not there in person. Particularly with your natural ability I think the resulting demo would be astounding.

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:02 pm Post subject:

Thank you so much Philip....that's very encouraging. Are you volunteering? hahahaha I'm sorry, I'm not trying to push my luck. Laugh

I very much appreciate you taking the time to listen and provide that feedback. As I told Bob Souer, I've been working very hard to improve and because I hear myself all the time, I can't necessarily tell if I'm moving ahead or remaining stagnant. The positive feedback is much needed for me to hear...it lets me know My hard work is paying off. Thanks again, and if you're feeling patient and generous I'll gladly let you be my director! hahahahahaha
_________________
TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

BenWils · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 7:39 pm Post subject:

Much improvement from your last demo, from what I can remember Tom. Nice work. The car spot may be your weakest though....sounded forced and not as real as the others. The rest.....smooth as glass.

Diane is the slate queen!!
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Ben

"To be really good at voiceover, you need to improve your footwork and hip snap."

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:51 am Post subject:

Ben.....maybe I should replace that spot....in reality, that spot was a spoof....it was supposed to be a BIG...over the top car dealer voice....exagerated....but on the demo there's no way the listener would know that...they would think that's how I do car dealer spots. hahahahaha....but just so you know, the spot itself was supposed to be a spoof. If I can replace that with something, I will think about doing that....
_________________
TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

Hart · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:59 am Post subject:

Tom,

Here's my 2 cents. I agree it's much better than the last demo I heard of you. Overall impressed. Here are my notes as I listened a couple of times:

Hey! Great slate, lol.

1. Coffee- The read is okay. I'll comment on the technical. You should run an EQ shelf and cut off everything below around 90hz or so on your voice track. it'll clean up that bottom end some to add a little clarity, make it less muddy. Maybe add a very slight bump to the mid or highs too.

2. sounds good to me.

3. sounds a lot like the coffee read to me. I want to hear a little more energy on this one.

4. The fabled Weather spot, lol. I like it.

5. Nissan - "Nissan needs to sell" sounds okay for a medium sell car spot. It dies immediately after those four words though. Spoof or not you should either redo it or drop it.

6. Magnolia - it's okay but not one of the strongest on here.

7. Bigger volume - I don't think this is adding anything to the demo. Drop it.

8. Okay, after reading Mary's comment all I'm thinking about is the loon, lol. I like the read though.

9. Ispeek - Your read is fine but the quality of the file is off. Sounds like it's been saved as an MP3 a few too many times.

End Slate - interesting. I've noticed several demos lately that have a female slate on one end and a male on the other. Did I miss the memo on that?

Overall, I hear lots of warm reads, the deep voice, but what I don't hear is a good energetic read. I don't mean like a screaming car dealer spot but something with some personality to it. As you are recording more material I'd keep an eye out for scripts along these lines and see if you can't nail one or two to add in.

Hope that helps,

B
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Brian Hart Productions

ConnieTerwilliger · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:11 am Post subject:

Tom Greenlee · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:31 am Post subject:

lol Connie....I guess the way I wrote that didn't come accross right.....I didn't mean that I would think about replacing it if I had something to replace it with....I meant he gave me something to think about as far as I need to replace that spot, and I have to start thinking about something to replace it with. it WILL be replaced...I just don't know with what yet.

with intro slate and outro slate it comes in at 1:03
_________________
TG2

"Communication without intelligence is noise; Intelligence without communication is irrelevant."

Gen. Alfred. M. Gray, USMC
Former Commandant of the Marine Corps

Diane Maggipinto · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:20 am Post subject:

Just want to chime in that your feedback is precisely what I predicted when Tom sent me his demo the other day. I gave him my opinion and suggested he sling it up on the board. I can feeeeel the love. Yous guyses r grate.

And Mary, your knowing the loon is out of place in the Costa Rica spot is NOT the kind of thing others on other boards would ever know. (FYI, while in the Adks this summer--remember how I was going to visit you but had NO TIME?!--I was rowing on a small lake and had a very close encounter with one of the loons there. Gawd, their call is so.......wistful. Searching for the right word here...)
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