VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[rcz1978]

Good morning, everyone! Very excited to be a part of the forums and getting to know some people. VO is something on my short list of dream jobs aside Video and Post Production.

I took a master course last year to gain more knowledge in the things I needed to get setup at home and start making connections to finding some work, and by no means did I come out of my course thinking right of the bat I would make money.

I have a narration and commercial demo I would like critiqued. It was professionally recorded and mastered in a studio with a voice coach.

I really have a desire to do great things with my voice and further want to get into character and VG type work, but what was recommended was doing characters using my natural voice and working up to animation, though my whole life i've always loved doing a great range of things.

I will have a more professional VO landing page soon. For now here's my demos and would greatly appreciate your thoughts and constructive criticism. I can only get better if I get the right feedback.

Thanks kindly in advance and also thanks for having me here! I hope to learn a lot more!
-Ryan

http://www.vfademos.com/rczaplinski

[bobsouer]

Ryan,

You have a very nice sound which fits right where a lot of commercial work is going done these days. I think your commercial demo is stronger than your narration demo, but both a good and certainly can get you work. The thing that separates those getting work from those wishing is persistent effort at building relationships with people who want to hire you. That takes some time. You'll find a ton of valuable advice buried in the archives here.
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[Bruce]

You never know about these things...I actually liked your narration demo more because there was much more variety to your reads, unlike your commercial demo where everything sounded pretty much the same.

In everything you do I'd work on clearer diction (don't overdo it but you need to be a bit crisper). Many of your reads have good interpretation but some are unnatural, something we all did in the earlier days. See if you can sense them and weed those out or recut. Variety...start experimenting with variety...the highs, the lows, the drama, the wry comic twist...hey, you get to be alone in a studio...get goofy, go big, go wild then bring it back down to reality and see if that doesn't spark up your reads.

Oh, and I'd drop the name thing at the end. The pros don't do it and there must be a reason.

B
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I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .

[rcz1978]

That's very interesting. In my class and in the recording studio they wanted me to do that at the end of my demo. Well it would be just as easy for me to cut that off Thanks for the tips!

I also try to listen to radio commercials all the time. My voice coach also recommended the emphasis on certain things I spoke and was happy with what I did, but that was just one person.

I'm absolutely not getting defensive and love this feedback. I try to think of WHO I am talking to when I do a commercial and the type of conversation taking place. I have a lot of work to do still and will definitely practice a lot.

When I speak to friends or family I have a very flat voice. When the camera or mic goes on I change up my tone in how I put feeling into it. It's gotta be a combination of feeling it and thinking it. It's a fine line of not sounding fake.

Anyway I'm rambling. Thank you SO much for the feedback so far as well as the pros tip on removing my name at the end of the demo. I honestly never knew that.

[asnively]

I also agree on the unnatural reads, I'm afraid. That was the thing that stood out for me first.

You have a great sound and all the potential in the world, and this isn't a bad first demo. It does sound like a first demo, though. If you work on really connecting with the copy-- maybe an acting class? Maybe just lots of practice until the words sound like they're occurring to you and falling from your mouth organically? You'll be ready to cut your next demo and take things to the next level!

(And that's pretty bizarre that they asked you to slate at the end!)
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