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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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Lance Blair M&M

Joined: 03 Jun 2007 Posts: 2281 Location: Atlanta
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Jeffrey!
Okay, I had to chime in because it was driving me nuts that nobody else posted feedback (unless you got PMs?).
I like your somewhat world-weary experienced tone a lot, but I'd like to hear more occasional brightness to your voice sprinkled in here and there just to at least give the illusion that things aren't set in stone, and sense of a touch more versatility.
More importantly, your reading of dialog is your strong suit (very good) so I'd at least edit the first person demo to start closer to the dialog. _________________ Skype: globalvoiceover
and now, http://lanceblairvo.com the blog is there now too! |
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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the feedback Lance. I don't always expect critique. I know folks are busy and audiobooks aren't everyone's cup o tea.
Good point on the dialogue and brightness. I'll implement some fixes. _________________ Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com |
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Gregory Best The Gates of Troy

Joined: 04 Aug 2005 Posts: 1853 Location: San Diego area (east of Connie and south and east of Bailey)
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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In the 1st person demo - I don't know if it was intentional (as in character) but I hear a sloppy "fa-tog-a-fer" in stead of photographer. It really stands out. I stopped listening at that point. _________________ Gregory Best
greg@gregorybest.com |
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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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Per Lance's helpful critique, that part has been nixed, but thanks for sticking with it for 7 whole words.  _________________ Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com |
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audio'connell T-Shirt

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 1969 Location: in a dark studio with a single bulb light...day after day after....
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:06 am Post subject: |
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I agree with most of Lance's comments on the first demo and I noticed on the 3rd person demo that you do start closer to the dialog...AT the dialog actually.
On the 1st person, I kept thinking the characters were good but the narration part was too flat...I'll cop to the fact that this may be personal preference.
But "world weary" as Lance described it came across to me almost 3rd person. I felt like there should be some emotion of some kind in the read - this guy has been through alot and he has a history with this woman that only came through in the character reads.
The protagonist seeing the the woman's studio he's walking into, he's describing it...is he impressed by it? Does it shape his opinion of his wife's friend and where she's come from or to after all this time? Is it good, is it bad? From what read I cannot tell.
And maybe based on the book, it is supposed to be read the way you have...but as a demo that part didn't engage me as the listener so I am not sure if its the best example of your work.
The only other thing I wonder was whether you might want to do 3 tighter segments from first person reads versus just one long one.
I hope this helps and if not, the hell with me.  _________________ - Peter
audioconnell Voice Over Talent
Your friendly, neighborhood voice over talent |
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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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The Voice of Steve Guest
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Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:54 am Post subject: |
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I LOVED your commercial demo and narration...the audiobooks mostly came accross as flat to me, other than the dialog. The dialog was really expressive and I believed who the characters were.
To me, the narration sounded like it was coming from a news anchor. A GOOD news anchor, but...
I get into the same trouble when I read a book. It's a constant battle for me to loosen up with the narration without sounding TOO casual. |
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localvocal

Joined: 11 Nov 2009 Posts: 9
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 5:50 am Post subject: |
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you are a rock solid reader with obvious stamina, but to my ear there is a consistent harshness.i wanted more melody .Pauses between he said ,she said and the dialog were a tad long,with a noticeable contrast between the animation of the dialog and the newsreader flavor of your narration. |
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