VO-BB - 19 YEARS OLD!

[Drew]

... You Should Have Learned By Now

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.


2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in
a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so
good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a
mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
world.

25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we put the clocks back.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.

38. Your friends love you anyway.

39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
_________________
www.voiceoverdrew.com
Skype: andrew.hadwal1
Although I have a full head of hair, I'm quite ribald.

[COURVO]

Drew,
'Don't usually waste my time reading this type of thing when I'm the 83rd person it's been forwarded to....but I gotta admit I got a chuckle out of several of them....
#26 & #27....AMEN!
...and #35....makes me wonder why I'm going to a party this weekend my friend is throwing for her son's 30th...

Dave C.
_________________
Dave Courvoisier - Las Vegas, NV
http://www.CourVO.com
CourVO@CourVO.com
Courvo's "Voice Acting in Vegas" Blog: http://www.CourVO.biz
on your phone at courvo.mobi
702.610.6288
"I'm not a news anchor, but I play one on TV."

[Deirdre]

I like this list.

Thanks for posting it!
_________________
DBCooperVO.com

[glittlefield]

If I may...

40. Never use the restroom immediately after chopping half a gallon jar full of jalepenos.

:wince:
_________________
Greg Littlefield
VO-BB Member #59

[dhouston67]

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Unless your name is Elaine Benes.

[/img]
_________________
Great Voice. Great Choice. For Voice Talking and stuff.
http://davidhoustonvoice.com
Do That Voice! - The DHV Blog

[JeffK]

[dhouston67]

Jeff,

You must really like that episode. Your avatar even looks like Elaine getting her groove on.

"It's like a full-body dry heave, set to music." - George Costanza
_________________
Great Voice. Great Choice. For Voice Talking and stuff.
http://davidhoustonvoice.com
Do That Voice! - The DHV Blog