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Rob Ellis
M&M
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2385
Location: Detroit
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 Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:35 pm Post subject: Narration demo prototype |
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Hi,
This is all from actual narration work booked.(between 2007 and 2010) I know it sounds kind of local (Cincinnati) but I'm okay with that since it's a fairly large and middle America kind of market.
Click here
I had planned on doing a "studio" narration demo but wanted to explore the
"actual work" (gasp!) approach before shelling out any more dough. |
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Depthpersuasion
Contributor IV
Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 127
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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| Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Here are my thoughts,
-Your #2 should be your #1
-The typing sounds in #2 come in way too late and thus become distracting
-The music in #1 and #4 needs to be turned down. Almost swamps out the voice
-The girls voice doesn't seem to serve a purpose. I would suggest cutting that out.
Keep up it up. Your vocals have the likability for narration, and you know how to deliver. Just needs some polishing, as I'm certain you might expect.
Best,
DP
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Richard D. Hall
http://RichardDHallVoiceActor.com |
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Rob Ellis
M&M
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2385
Location: Detroit
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| Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:56 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Daniel.
Here is a slightly different version that may be better in terms of flow
and variety
This time click here
Although, and I may be my worst critic... I'm thinking I may have
to bite the bullet and do a "mock-up" version cuz frankly I'm just not
real excited about what I'm hearing so far. |
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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen
Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles
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| Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:16 am Post subject: |
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| Rob Ellis wrote: | | frankly I'm just not real excited about what I'm hearing so far. |
I'm having the same reaction.
In some of this you're not sounding very conversational. For example the first thing you said was "You will work along side" instead of "You'll work along side". You'll find that it will trip off the tongue a little easier too.
There is also the fact that much of the copy is not that spectacular, I think that's what's dragging you down.
Also listen to the audio on spots 2 and 3 in your second offering. Notice how much clearer you sound in the 3rd spot. In the 2nd you sound throaty, almost like you have a little phlegm that you want to hack up. Get your voice out of your throat and into your head, and all the resonate of your voice will follow. You will also sound more alert and engaged.
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The Blog:
http://voiceoveraudio.blogspot.com/
Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong. |
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