VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[JackB]

Hi guys, I've just gotten a website made and am working on concept art for my CD demo. Thoughts, please?

http://www.jackburrVO.com

Concept art... https://www.box.com/s/imig06dfgf3mv9mr1eba
_________________
- Jack

[Scott Pollak]

Jack,

Just a couple of quick thoughts on this Labor Day:

- It took me a second or two to 'get' the logo. I DO think it's clever and well-designed, but be forewarned that it may not be immediately recognizable. Also, it just dominates everything. I'd size it down and not have it taking up 80% of your visual space. It's just too much. Along with that, I'd size down some of the text on the left (like contact info, etc.). Big and bold and bulky also comes across as a bit 'clunky'. And lose the jackburrvo.com on the left. They're already ON the site, so odds are they know the url. No need for unnecessary visual/verbal clutter.

- Why is your e-mail address at rocketmail.com? Why not jack@jackburrvo.com?
WAY more professional.
_________________
Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com

[Jason Huggins]

Agree with Scott on the size of things and the email address. Hosting is cheap and you can use Google as (instead of your hosting mail) as you email. My mail is a Google account (even though it is jason@spwakwithjason.com) and the google has the lock down on effective (and free!) email solutions.

I would also change a couple things. Your text says click the play button on the right...but on the mobile site, the player is a the bottom. You need to eliminate ANY chance of someone leaving the site. Second, you don't have any searchable content. Bots crawl the net constantly looking for specific things. Add some pages (don't put a ton of text on your front page) that had significant content and keywords to make your page more search engine centric. (I am personally in the process of a redesign to add content myself)

Love the simplicity though. I think you have a good base.

[Monk]

Jack,

the first thing that I noticed in your VO demo was a mouth click as you said "technology"

Can you fix that?
_________________
Company, villainous company, hath been the spoil of me...

www.monksvoice.com

[DougVox]

Jack,

Take a look at the way the "JB" is laid out on the CD...since the center circle isn't gonna be printed, the logo's gonna be close to impossible to read.

Also, for the CD cover, why not slide the whole "JB" to the left a bit...you'll still be able to read the "J," plus you'll get the benefit of being able to see the entire "B." (As it sits now, the top right hand curve of the "B" is off the page.)

Since there's no artwork for the back of the disc or the spine, I assume that you're planning on using sleeves or maybe Slimline cases to send the CDs. I don't know what percentage of people actually prefer to receive demos on CD these days (though I still send tons of 'em out), but for anyone who does hang on to your disc, keep in mind that if it's not in a full size case with a spine, it becomes totally invisible as soon as it's put on a shelf. At least with a spine, there's a chance that they'll be able to see it and/or find it.

+1 on the click in "technology."

And even though you didn't ask for a critique of your demo, some stuff really stood out to me. Overall, the demo sounds like it was recorded in one studio, on one mic, produced by one guy, with the same processing and mix on nearly every spot. In other words, it sounds like a demo. And it really shouldn't. It should sound like a compilation of real-world spots that have been compiled into a demo.

Plus, based on the fact that you're fairly new to the biz and non-union, I'd guess that the CompUSA, Michelob, Nintendo and ______ (Toyota competitor) spots were recorded just for this demo.

Remember that once you send out your demo, you're competing with guys who book national spots all the time (yes, the industry has changed enough that that is absolutely true) and if you don't sound up to par, you won't book as much as you'd like to.
_________________
Doug Turkel (tur-KELL)
Voiceover UNnouncer®
UNnouncer.com