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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 6679
Location: saul lay seetee youtee
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 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:53 am Post subject: Actual extra words |
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| Quote: | | No actual children were harmed during the filming of these scenarios. |
this is the way my narration script ends, for the department of child and family services.
is the 'actual' necessary, legalese, or simply a matter of prolixity?
it definitely sounds weird .
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heyguido
MMD
Joined: 31 Aug 2011
Posts: 2507
Location: RDU, the Geek Capitol of the South
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:00 am Post subject: |
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So.... they harmed virtual children?
Badly written. Awkward. Unnecessary. Should I be more verbose? 
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Don Brookshire
"Wait.... They wanna PAY me for this?"
Last edited by heyguido on Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:11 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Scott Lyle
Contributor IV
Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Posts: 109
Location: Greensboro, NC, home of the ACC
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:02 am Post subject: |
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| So this doesn't cover the mannequins they beat the snot out of in the video? |
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ccpetersen
With a Side of Awesome
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 3708
Location: In Coherent
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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Methinks the copyrighter is CH/HA.
(covering his/her ass)
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Charter Member: Threadjackers Local 420 |
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Deirdre
Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 13023
Location: Camp Cooper
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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Prolix = great word
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DBCooperVO.com
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Lynne
Contributor II
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Posts: 64
Location: Southern California
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:33 pm Post subject: Fake Children |
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HEY!!! I'm President of FART (Fake Adolescents for Respectful Treatment) Fake children have rights, too!!!! I sure hope THEY weren't harmed!!!???!!!???!?!
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"Wherever you are -- if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time." Joseph Campbell |
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Bish
3.5 kHz
Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 3738
Location: Lost in the cultural wasteland of Long Island
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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Perfectly valid if you're being paid by the word 
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Bish a.k.a. Bish
Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast.
I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls. |
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Lance Blair
M&M
Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 2281
Location: Atlanta
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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LOL on being paid by the actual word. That is actually funny.
No actual children actually were actually harmed during the actual filming of these scenarios, actually.
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Skype: globalvoiceover
and now, http://lanceblairvo.com the blog is there now too! |
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kkuhlken
Club 300
Joined: 29 Feb 2012
Posts: 348
Location: Dallas, GA (Metro Atlanta-ish)
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:09 pm Post subject: Re: Fake Children |
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| Lynne wrote: | | HEY!!! I'm President of FART (Fake Adolescents for Respectful Treatment) |
You're president? What a gas!
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My full name is Karl Kuhlken (think Macauly Culkin...it rhymes)
Suave, debonair, a ladies man. Sophisticated, urbane, well heeled....no, wait...that's not me |
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Gregory Best
The Gates of Troy
Joined: 04 Aug 2005
Posts: 1853
Location: San Diego area (east of Connie and south and east of Bailey)
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Probably not as much CH/HA as HUA (Head Up A$$). Some I used to work with (while we were driving black and white cars) would user HUA so others would not know. We also used HBD (has been drinking) and DWS (driving while stupid).
I now work with some who can't write but make their way into management.
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Gregory Best
greg@gregorybest.com |
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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide
Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 6679
Location: saul lay seetee youtee
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:55 am Post subject: |
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here's another example of prolixity:
| Quote: | | Do not use nails, staples, screws or hooks to hang decorations. The use of tape for this is suggested. |
really? to me, "please use tape" seems to make the point a LOT faster!
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sitting at #8, though not as present as I'd like to be. Hello!
www.d3voiceworks.com |
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ccpetersen
With a Side of Awesome
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 3708
Location: In Coherent
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 11:55 am Post subject: |
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"In the next step, you will press your finger onto the "ON" switch and activate it."
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Charter Member: Threadjackers Local 420 |
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Lee Gordon
A Zillion
Joined: 25 Jul 2008
Posts: 6864
Location: West Hartford, CT
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| Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:58 pm Post subject: Re: Fake Children |
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| Lynne wrote: | | HEY!!! I'm President of FART |
I'm not the president; I'm just one of the bean counters. 
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Lee Gordon, O.A.V.
Voice President of the United States
www.leegordonproductions.com
Twitter: @LeeGordonVoice
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Lynne
Contributor II
Joined: 19 Jan 2011
Posts: 64
Location: Southern California
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| Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:23 am Post subject: IVR |
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.....and my FAVORITE required phone speech: "If you are finished with your call, hang up!" YA THINK??????
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"Wherever you are -- if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time." Joseph Campbell |
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Moe Egan
4 Large
Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Posts: 4339
Location: Live Free or Die
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| Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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Love the commercials that feature...real people, not actors.
Um...aren't actors real people too? 
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Moe Egan
i want to be the voice in your head.
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