VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[Philip Banks]

Dear Tanzi,

I am unable to tell from your letter whether you are a man or a woman and the VO demo CD enclosed failed to answer my question. On visiting your web site the "headshot" image was too tightly framed and for the record you may like to put a warning on the page and check with your actor friends as to what is meant by "head shot".

We are a busy voice agency and as CEO I need all my staff. Since playing your demo two members of my team have resigned, one to enter a holy order near Dayton OH and the other to train in the middle east as an IED, so thanks fer nuthun!

Audio quality - Would've been a good start.
Audio book narration - Whilst I would've loved to "See Janet run. See John run" to say nothing of the joy brought on by the image of "Spot the dog has a blue ball" I feel that the "Jerry Springer UNCENSORED" DVD playing on your TV in the background did detract from the subtext of your chosen piece.
Commercial - Reading ad copy from your local newspaper was an interesting thought and your basic literacy skills were stretched to the point of throwing up (me, not you)
TV promos - Charlene may have called you up and said "HEY Babe turn on channel 36" but we need details!
Radio imaging - You got your kids to do "spot effects" and played dance music loudly drowning your voice ...We liked that A LOT! But not in a good way.
Movie trailer. Shakespeare was not the sequel to Broken Arrow and burping while moving you lips with your head in a metal bucket for the reverb effect is not technically your voice. Any way ,it's been done before, google Ashton Smith.
In preparing to present yourself to this agency you set yourself extremely low standards which you consistently failed to achieve. Whilst I am inclined to support the theory that lying to your probation officer does count as acting and check fraud could be seen by some as a business skill one word springs to mind which accurately describes the list of your skills for a career as a voice actor – EMPTY.
There was no need to apologise for using a crayon to write to us as I understand that some people are prohibited by law to own, use or go within 100 yards of anything sharp.

I have forwarded your letter to a producer friend who is planning a reality TV series ..you never know you could become the next Kim Kardashian, hopefull y one who doesn’t cause an eclipse in Denver when she bends over in Brentwood.

I know from the content of your letter you will be disappointed in our refusal to the point of planning a drive-by but I will meet my maker in the knowledge that the voice over world has been spared a fate worse than mine.

Yours faithfully

Kerry-Ann Feintusch
CEO
DeVoid, DeVine with a Feintusch Voice agency
Wittering Heights
Los Angeles

[todd ellis]

Form letter ... I got one too.
_________________
"i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?

[Lee Gordon]

Tanzi is killing it on Fiverr.com!
_________________
Lee Gordon, O.A.V.
Voice President of the United States
www.leegordonproductions.com
Twitter: @LeeGordonVoice

[Mandy Nelson]

Yeah, I've found that Kerry-Ann to be very picky.
_________________
006 member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mic. Bonded by sound.

Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?

Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband