VO-BB - A VO Family Forum Index VO-BB - A VO Family
A welcoming home for those in this crazy profession
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Okay, it's that time.

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - A VO Family Forum Index -> Critique
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Don G.
King's Row


Joined: 11 Nov 2004
Posts: 1058
Location: MA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2016 2:54 pm    Post subject: Okay, it's that time. Reply with quote

I've been remiss about updating my demos, so I spent the past couple of weekends hunting down tracks and compiling. First priority is the Commercial demo. I think I have the stuff I want on there and I think it's in the order I want it, but that's why I'm asking here. Also, I'm realizing that most of the stuff on there are actually tracks from TV spots. Do you think that's a problem?

Anyway, if you can spare the time, I'd appreciate your input. Here's the link:
https://soundcloud.com/user-157249092-48911856/dg-comm-rev2

(And I'll apologize in advance because Soundcloud doesn't give me the option of NOT playing whatever the hell they decide they want to play next.)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
FinMac
Cinquecento


Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Posts: 598
Location: In a really cool place...Finland!

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:38 am    Post subject: Overall Reply with quote

Overall I like it, but not the first spot in particular.

Perhaps you should start with something more upbeat, like..."Hi! I'm Phil, and this is Chloe" (or however you spell it). Nice variety, but it is kind of funny to end with two tags back to back. Keep that latter one.

Just my 2 euro cents Smile
_________________
www.scottsvoiceover.com - An American voice in Finland

"If you want to get to the top, you have to get off your bottom". (Unknown)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Don G.
King's Row


Joined: 11 Nov 2004
Posts: 1058
Location: MA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank for the reply. Hey, two euros is as good as two cents for my purposes. Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 6735
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd take out a couple of cuts and go longer with the remainders. I like to hear the arc of an idea expressed in demos. I would suggest a longer version of "Michelle always wanted to be a mother" as an opener. It was a very nice, natural sounding you. See if you can't edit out the plosives on the pizza spot. A good read but they bothered me. Save TV promos for a separate demo?


B
_________________
VO-BB Member #38 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Don G.
King's Row


Joined: 11 Nov 2004
Posts: 1058
Location: MA

PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a few revisions and tweaks, do you think this version works better?
https://soundcloud.com/user-157249092-48911856/dg-comm-rev3

Thanks again.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
FinMac
Cinquecento


Joined: 14 Jan 2013
Posts: 598
Location: In a really cool place...Finland!

PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:02 am    Post subject: Much better Reply with quote

imho this is much better, though I still don't care for the "color" spot Smile

You've done some nice work!

Still just my 2 cents (euro cents) worth just over 2 US cents
_________________
www.scottsvoiceover.com - An American voice in Finland

"If you want to get to the top, you have to get off your bottom". (Unknown)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 6735
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice, and I for one like the "color" spot. I think this represents you well.


Bruce
_________________
VO-BB Member #38 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Don G.
King's Row


Joined: 11 Nov 2004
Posts: 1058
Location: MA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your thoughts. Sometimes we get too close to these things and really need impartial and objective opinions.

I appreciate your taking the time.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - A VO Family Forum Index -> Critique All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group