VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[SoundsGreat-Elaine Singer]

I have to speak at a funeral tomorrow and I want to get through it without my voice cracking. I will be reading a poem and telling a personal story. I'm sure there are things you can do to get you through emotional readings and was wondering if any of you had any tips for me.

Thanks.
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Elaine
The Youthful Mature Voice (Emeritus)
Senectitude is not for the faint of heart.

[Bailey]

[Philip Banks]

Try to memorise as much of the poem as possible so that you are not looking at the pages too much. Pick 5 people in the congregation, evenly spaced and as you read try to make brief eye-contact throughout your delivery. Be clear in your mind that you are reading for them, for the deceased and are being strong for everyone, strong and controlled not false and without emotion. Turn that last part into an affirmation, repeat it over and over to yourself, ideally out loud, as often as possible. Deep breaths, slow read, giving each word or phrase as much as possible.

If you focus on the above, you'll do well, you're voice won't break and you will certainly bring something to the celebration of a life.

[billelder]

Great advice from B and B. However, I would suspect that you were asked to read not for a perfect performance, but because of your relationship with the deceased and your beautiful voice. We are asked to "fake" emotion all the time This will be real. If it cracks during the reading it is because of true emotion. Others will be touched as well. Relax and concentrate on celebrating the life of your friend.

And, I am truly sorry for your loss.

[bobsouer]

Elaine,

The 3 B's have all given you valuable counsel. I'm sure you want to avoid embarrassing yourself. But, if your voice cracks, or even if you break down in tears, what happens will be real, and you. Fret not. Let it flow out of you.

A month and a half ago I sang at a family member's funeral. A couple of years before than for my uncle's funeral and a year prior to that for my grandmother's funeral. None were easy. But the emotions that surfaced were real. And none were done as "performances", but as honest expressions of love. Fear not. You'll be fine.

(edited to fix typo)
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Be well,
Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
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[MuseVox]

"Never let your emotions rule your objective."

This quote has been a rubber band flick on the wrist for me over the years. I will never forget the first time I heard it. I was working on a piece from Spoon River Anthology, playing Elizabeth Childers, a young woman who had died in childbirth who was speaking to her dead baby. I honestly could not get through the piece without sobbing.

Understanding that I was to convey the emotion without being overcome by the emotion not only adjusted my perspective and helped me get through the piece, but also helped me acknowledge that my composure allowed those listening to more fully react to what I was saying. My tears didn't become a distraction to what I was trying to express.

Though taught to me by a monologue coach as a fundamental in acting, I have been grateful for this advice in my personal and professional (nonacting) life more times than I can imagine.

I really commend you for asking for support.

~Sarah

[Deirdre]

Thank you to all who have shared their great methods of maintaining composure in a difficult circumstance.

Banksey's deep breathing is key, and although I have had a number of bruises to show for it, I will pinch myself or step on my own foot as a distraction. I suppose this is juvenile, but it manages to disrupt the emotional flow enough to BE ABLE to take that deep breath.
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IMDB

[CWToo]

I say to heck with it... if you get emotional, there isn't a more perfect event for it than a funeral. Emotions are part of being human.

Once at a funeral for a colleague I knew only passingly, I walked up to his mother to tell her what a nice guy he was (and he was) and I broke down as if he was my brother. My wife asked if I was smoking crack or something. Hey, funerals do that.

[SoundsGreat-Elaine Singer]

Just a quick thanks to everyone. I imagine I will incorporate most of your suggestions this morning.

Chris, I'm just like you at funerals which is why I needed to figure out how to keep a modicum of control.

Thanks again.
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Elaine
The Youthful Mature Voice (Emeritus)
Senectitude is not for the faint of heart.

[audio'connell]

Well as usual, a day late and a dollar short to topic and darn it if I actually didn't have something constructive to add to this one.

I've done between 5-6 eulogies since about the age of 25 (maybe more ((yikes!)) the older I get etc.). Let’s be clear, that’s not a badge of honor or something to brag about…it started with the eulogies of my parents and then people piled on from there.

I tell you what…did you ever try to say NO to someone who asked you to do a eulogy? I NEVER EVER want to do them and yet I always so yes because there is such an implicit sense of trust…of honor….of compliment being bestowed upon you, I don’t think one can/should ever betray that.

So Elaine my heartfelt congratulations at having been so appreciated by the family as to have been chosen at this most personal of times. I am 100% sure your efforts were not only appreciated on Monday but certainly spectacular.

What I would have advised would have been somewhat similar to what others have said. You have to memorize and/or be ultra comfortable with your text, manage your breathing AND your pacing (the desire to speed through a eulogy is like nothing you’ll ever likely experience in your professional speaking life.)

Why so rehearsed? The reason I have done it (and I really am not saying it’s the best way…only my way) is to try and get the emotion out before the talk.

Why?

While emotion is natural and honest, it is my opinion that the eulogist is there to support the family and friends in their time of need. You need to share your thoughts, this sort of synopsis of a life, in a heartfelt way but most importantly in a clear way. They need to hear the message of strength, of life affirmed, of a good person well loved. They NEED that….that’s what is expected from a eulogist and that’s why it’s so hard.

But I can imagine no one more up to the task than you. Thanks for saying yes.
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audioconnell Voice Over Talent
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[SoundsGreat-Elaine Singer]