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New Narration Demo
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Donovan
Cinquecento


Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 595
Location: Raleigh/Durham, NC

PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:46 pm    Post subject: New Narration Demo Reply with quote

Hello again all!

I've been some kind of busy lately with getting ready for my movement to full-time VO!! W00T.gif" alt="W00T" border="0" />

Anyway, I've just wrapped up my narration demo and would like to get some opinions, advice, etc. Thanks for your time and ears!

http://www.doncopro.com/demos/Donovan_Corneetz_Narr_Demo.mp3
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Donovan

www.DonovanVO.com
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audio'connell
T-Shirt


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 1949
Location: in a dark studio with a single bulb light...day after day after....

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, a couple of thoughts...

First, can you clarify is all these takes are from jobs or if they are just pirated scripts?

I'm not trying to nail you on it; simply if all these takes were from your own paying gigs...good on you. If not then you are throwing too many big names around and producers may smell it. For example, you might want to change AG Edwards, to Frank's Bailbonds....just to make it sound not quite so impressive if it isn't.

And again if these are paying gigs, great!

You led off with IBM and I din't think that was the right call.

My order would be:

Quicken
AG Edwards
UPS
IBM
"On this disc"

Hope this helps.
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audioconnell Voice Over Talent
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kgenus
Seriously Devoted


Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 889
Location: Greater NYC Area

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really shouldn't respond to this at all, but I'm not a passive person. Peter, for you to say that he should nix IBM because it's a client that is too big a name for something like Bail Bonds, which I would imagine you believe they would use an urban voice is total bullshit. There's a term for this called institutional racism. Donovan, go read Joan Baker's book, "Secrets of Voice-Over Success" to learn more about this mentality. You can not afford to let it make choices for you, but you already know all that.

A producer listens to find out if you're right for their work and clients ... end of story. Fortune 10 companies are after multicultural environments, do not believe for a moment that the Fortune 500 and 1000 are not right behind them.

But I guess maybe I should trash the work I've done for IBM, Verizon and Microsoft and move on over to Big Al's Bail Bond's.

I would not remove those companies unless you feel they need to be removed.
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Genus
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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 6679
Location: saul lay seetee youtee

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big D --
I just gave it a quick listen and I'd agree that you may consider leading with something other than your first piece. I think the second is stronger, for example. Also, not a biggie but I think I heard you say "direct" as DYE-rect. May want to rework that to durr-RECT.
Really hoping I can manage a quick plane ride to LA in mid-August to visit with you while you're out west ...
-Di
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audio'connell
T-Shirt


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 1949
Location: in a dark studio with a single bulb light...day after day after....

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And good morning to you too!

So now I'm an institutional racist, am I?

Let's see, what qualifications will I need for that job?

Well, I'll need to make sure I can tell whether a voice is a particular race...this way I'll know when to be racist. Ooops, see I've already started out badly...I didn't know Donovan was a particular race...I just thought he was a voice talent. Note to self: KG wants me to be sure I do not treat all voice talents equally. OK. Rolls Eyes

Next, switching IBM for Bail Bonds. Let me go back and check...yup I did...I did qualify my comments at the top of my critique by asking if they were all his clients. If they were, congrats, but if they weren't, then I suggested switching to some other client name, I made one up on the fly, Bail Bonds. Did I do this because the voice talent was urban? Again, I would have had to have known the talent was a particular nationality to do that...and I did not.

I was offering a professional and free critique that I hoped he would find helpful...not because of his nationality (which I didn't know or even consider when offering the critique) but because of his profession (which I did know).

KG, I'm not sure if you woke up this morning intent on hating the world and decided that today the "world" was named Peter O'Connell but you are simply out of line, actually, beyond out of line. I don't need you to apologize for your baseless and public attack but save your hate-spewing for someone who deserves it.

And that someone is not me.
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audioconnell Voice Over Talent
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asnively
Triple G


Joined: 17 Jun 2006
Posts: 3204
Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can vouch for Peter. The guy is not a racist. He'd give the same advice to anyone.

Back to the real topic at hand...There is a bit of a controversy in our biz over whether one should use big names on demos when they aren't real clients. Here in L.A., it's done routinely. It's not my first choice, and I see Peter's point, but I don't really have a problem with it if you can deliver the goods, which Donovan can.
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Last edited by asnively on Sun Mar 01, 2009 4:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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kgenus
Seriously Devoted


Joined: 01 Dec 2004
Posts: 889
Location: Greater NYC Area

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now we all know something as simple as two words can completely alter the perceived response an individual may receive from any communication. The words I chose were, "Institutional Racism." They were meant to elicit the same response someone, who could hear the urban flavor in his delivery, might perceive from reading the words, "Bail Bonds" in conjunction with with removing IBM.

In no way did I call Peter a racist. No apology will be offered.
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11048
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moving back to the demo, it is at best pedestrian. Donovan, you are capable of much better work than this and that's where the money is. Nothing wrong with the choice of copy just the sound was not of someone who is ready to play with the big boys and we know that's not the case.
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Donovan
Cinquecento


Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 595
Location: Raleigh/Durham, NC

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, a bit more drama than I had anticipated, but it's cool.

OK first, thanks to all for your time and observations. I will be fine-tuning the demo this week but wanted to get a general idea of if I was on the right track or not. You've helped me with that.

Second, with regard to the use of brands or big names, I did that for a specific reason. *Analogy Alert* It is my point of view that you can't catch Marlin with a worm on your hook. Nor would I show up to qualify for a Nascar race, driving a Ford Escort.

I want to sell my potential, not my history. While a Bail Bonds spot may in part be more along the lines of what I've done, the quality I am capable of delivering is much higher than that of a local mom & pop business. I want a producer or agent to think "Yeah, I could hear him doing an IBM job." Rather than, "Hmm, he's only capable of local stuff...next!" I think it is much easier for someone looking for a mid to high-level gig to be cast, to move down from AG Edwards to the actual client than to jump up from Bail Bonds to a client. I mean think about it. You look at a menu outside of a restaurant. If you are looking for a gourmet, 5-star meal, you don't go into the restaurant that presents burgers and fries for $6. You go into the one with Filet Mignon for $60. I want to create the mindset of "This guy can handle the big stuff."

That said, I truly appreciate your opinion, but must respectfully disagree. As far as the demo itself, things will be changed, adjustments made, but big names will stay in. Because that's the kind of gigs I want to be considered for.
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Donovan

www.DonovanVO.com
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Jeffrey Kafer
Assistant Zookeeper


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 4931
Location: Location, Location!

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think part of the reason you should be wary of using big names is that prospective clients might think you actually did those spots. So in a sense, it's false advertising. From what I've read, unless you did the spot, you should change the names of any major corporations.
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KaraEdwards
M&M


Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 2374
Location: Behind a mic or camera, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First off, Donovan..you are so stinkin' talented! I don't even have a narration demo, so I can't offer any helpful opinions...it sounds great to me!

Since I am about to delve in to my own demo make-over soon...I am curious about the topic of using big client names. It seems like the right thing to do to showcase your potential...aren't demos supposed to showcase and not prove? Meaning- its my voice demo, not my resume on tape...right?

Oh what to do??
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Kara Edwards
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Donovan
Cinquecento


Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 595
Location: Raleigh/Durham, NC

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To me, and a couple of very successful talents and casting agents, a demo (demonstration) needs to be just that. A demonstration of what you are capable of. Most high-level agents and the like already know I probably didn't actually voice a Bank of America spot or IBM. But that's not the point. The point is, can I deliver a sound that would be marketable for those big names. It seems you won't get that if all I have on my demo are small or no-name clients. I think one should avoid putting real spots on your demo, unless they actually are from big clients. Other than that.. it becomes what Kara described: a resume rather than a demo.

In other words, my demo is for saying, "This is what I can do for you." Not, "This is what I've done so far."
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Donovan

www.DonovanVO.com
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anthonyVO
14th Avenue


Joined: 09 Aug 2005
Posts: 1470
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

two things that matter (in this order but not exclusive of one another):

1 - Your relationships

2 - Your read

Whether or not you did the spot is NOT relevant.

Hit me up if you're ever in NYC.

PEACE.
-Anthony
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todd ellis
A Zillion


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 10493
Location: little egypt

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

big d - i could not agree with banksey & anthony more. the copy is fine. smooth out the read. jmho.
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Frank F
Fat, Old, and Sassy


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 4421
Location: Park City, Utah

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Donovan,

I have really tried to stay away from posting here in the Critique Forum lately because it seems I tend to upset folks with my comments. So with that in mind, and not trying to upset you or make you angry, there are a few things you should look into before sending your "demo" to potential clients and customers:

1) Production quality is good, but I do not hear YOU. Replace at least 75% of the demo parts with cold reads... be careful not to overproduce. In the real-world most narrations have little or "no" music or SFX. Most narrations will contain NAT sound or S.O.T. with very little "extra's". Many producers rely on the video to tell the story of a product or service, not the voice of a narrator.

2) Consider varied styles and presentation types. Your read is comfortable - but, what else can you do?

3) Although not a prerequisite, consider a bit longer demo with more emphasis on the quality and presentation of read not a bunch of parts jumbled together to form your demo. (i.e.: longer demo parts and less of them). A "narration" demo does not need to be limited to :60 seconds. If YOUR narration demo takes :120 seconds, then "so be it",

4) Do you like the demo? Ultimately, it is not your choice as to whether you like the narration demo or not. In the end, even your opinion does not count. If the "demo" works for you and gets you business - then the product is a successful one.

If this narration demo does not GET YOU WORK, then build a new one - using what you have learned from the creation of this version and what potential customers and clients have commented to you regarding the current version.

Toodles

Frank F
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