VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: Request for narration critique

Updated my 2 year old narration reel into something that I can listen to without cringing. Feedback, please?

http://jeffreykafer.com/Jeffrey_Kafer_corporate_Documentary_Narration.mp3
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Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

bobsouer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject:

Jeffrey,

I think you have some very good material here. My one suggestion is that you try to find something to break up the sound a bit. There's a kind of sameness to the delivery lot of the time, even though the copy changes.
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Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
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Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject:

Thanks for listening Bob!

And I agree with you, that they all sound sort of the same. But since it isn't character or commercial work, how do you make straight narrations sound "different"?
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Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

bobsouer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject:

Jeffrey,

I guess it's a matter of going to a different "place" mentally and emotionally. What follows are my specific suggestions:

A. Assuming you put this demo together yourself.
B. Assuming you recorded most or all of these scripts in the same session...

1. Do each script on a different day, and at a different time of day, to the extent possible.
2. Do more of the script than you're planning to include in the demo, at least an extra 30 seconds both before and after, where possible. (You might already be doing this.)
3. Concentrate on the story you're telling with each of these scripts. Doing them not all in the same session will help, because you'll have time to think specifically about each individual story.
4. Produce, with music, all of the longer segments that are going to have music backgrounds.

Yes, this will be extra work, but you'll end up with something that has individual textures and stories for each part. I hope this is helpful.
_________________
Be well,
Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
Source Connect, phone patch, pony express

Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:58 pm Post subject:

Ah I see what you're saying. So I don't need different copy, necessarily, but a different emotional delivery.

I will definitely try out your suggestions. Many thanks, as always, Bob.
_________________
Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

Moe Egan · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject:

Hey Jeff...nice work. I didn't cringe once Rolls Eyes

I really love the read on the first script - warm and heartfelt -perfect for the script.

For the second piece I would 'tone down' the emotional level of your voice. I may be splitting hairs with this, but it took me a long time to get over the "detached voice giving directions" speed bump....coming from radio, my first voice coach told me I had a "smiley glaze over everything" I voiced. I had to work hard to bring my narrations down - actually started at zero emotion, almost like a robotic read - then worked up from there. It must have worked, I get a lot of "Then you take your hex screw and attach rack B to the assembly" kind of stuff.

This would also help "break up" the sound like Bob had mentioned above too.
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Moe Egan
i want to be the voice in your head.
~~~~~

Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject:

Good point, Moe. I'll give it a try and see how it sounds. Thanks!
_________________
Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject:

I took your advice Moe and toned down the 2nd one. And I moved it away from the similar sounding first one. I also recorded one of them on a different night as suggested by Bob and it does sound noticeably different.

It's amazing how your daily experiences can color your performances. Thanks, guys!

Same link as before if anyone would like a listen: http://jeffreykafer.com/Jeffrey_Kafer_corporate_Documentary_Narration.mp3
_________________
Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

Moe Egan · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:01 pm Post subject:

Sounds good....here I go splitting hairs again....but I would slow down the "creating a tool bar" segment - when you are voicing directions like these, you want to keep in mind, someone's going to be doing what you're saying....so you want to narrate at a pace equal to their time to react to your directions....does that make sense? You always need to keep your end user/ audience in mind when voicing.
_________________
Moe Egan
i want to be the voice in your head.
~~~~~