VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

voicejones · Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:39 am Post subject: Commecial Demo Critique please

It was a very constructive process to have my long form demo critiqued by the VO-BB faithful and now I'm back for more of your thoughts. Please take a listen to my "Commercial" demo at http://home.earthlink.net/~voicejones6 and give me your thoughts.
Thanks
Jim

louzucaro · Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject:

Just a few comments...

You obviously have a great voice and I like your reads. I would think the whole thing should be, at most, about half its current length. For me, I would probably take out the one where you're talking like an elf, only because in some ways, it kinda doesn't matter who did that voice since it's so heavily processed, you know?

Also, I thought toward the end, the nature conservancy spot, that one has a different sound overall to me...much flatter, so maybe that one could go altogether?

Then I think it's just a matter of trimming down and finding a good order for everything, as a couple of them run together a bit.

But again, you sound great and there are some very nice reads in there!
_________________
Lou Zucaro
http://www.voicehero.com

"Well, yeah, there's my favorite leaf!"

voicejones · Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:18 pm Post subject:

Great thoughts! I'll make some adjustments and I welcome more comments.
Thanks
JJ

voicejones · Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject:

I re-worked the commercial demo and have re posted it for the opinions of the VO-BB gang.
http://home.earthlink.net/~voicejones6
Thanks
JJ

Donovan · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:27 am Post subject:

Hmm.. I listened to the re-worked one. Overall, your sound is pretty damn good. Great voice and delivery. My issues came more with the production.

The first spot turned me off a little, due to the whole "fast speech" thing. The reason being, if a producer, client, whoever, is listening... you've got to grab them and show them who you are very quickly. It seems that the amount of time of that fast part is wasted so soon in your demo. If you really want to keep it, I'd suggest putting it at the end. The breath at the end could replace the static you have there currently for a unique finish.

Also, I'm guessing you timed the spots so that they would cut off at a clever spot. (gas attendant asked you... are you hungry) To me, that seems a little gimmicky and I actually found myself adjusting from the ear-shock rather than listening to the following spot. You did that a couple times in there. Maybe do it once for comic relief, but more than that seemed a little off.

My 2 cents has been deposited.
_________________
Donovan

www.DonovanVO.com