VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

Donovan · Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: Latest Commercial Demo

After 2 months of working and re-working, my demo is finally complete. I was hesitant to post this in Critique, since it is what it is. But hey, whatever. I worked harder on this one than any of my previous ones. Here's to hoping it's all been worth it. Smile

http://www.doncopro.com/voiceofcool/CommercialDemo_DCorneetz.mp3

Thanks for listening!
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KaraEdwards · Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:48 pm Post subject:

BRAVO! I love it and I love your voice! So versatile, and so completely in demand right now...may the sacks of money flood your doorstep!
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Frank F · Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject:

Although I am NOT "qualified" (by my own standards) to critique, I enjoyed the versatility, style, and pacing. My only comment that differs from what many may see as a superb demo is: the second piece of the demo should be the lead.

Reverse part one (McRib) and two (ING) and allow your money voice to be present the "who" of YOU right up front.

This is an example of how a VO can sell his personality in less than :50 seconds. Well done Donovan.

Toodles

F2
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bobsouer · Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 8:49 pm Post subject:

Donovan,

I have only one thing to add to what Frank said, rather than fade the drum beats at the end, just stop dead with a final beat. Otherwise, I too think you should reverse the order of the first two cuts.

But, truly, this is excellent work. Good for you.
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audio'connell · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 9:47 am Post subject:

Donovan

I think the last time I posted an opinion on your demo somebody else (not you) got very upset with me.

Well I didn't think I would cause any trouble then and I don't think I'll be causing trouble now Smile

Naturally that means somehow I'll get in trouble!

1. Make the mcrib/ing order change
2. I'm not sure the music cut just prior to the battery spot works on the demo as well as I'm sure it did on the spot. I might edit that music part out. Voice is fine on that spot, just the music cut. See if anyone else was bothered by it. If not, ignore my suggestion
3. This part is offered only as an option: the funny or confused everyman type is not on this demo and I think maybe it should be...towards the end maybe but it could be included.

I'm assuming by all the positive comments I've heard from people who have worked with you or trained with you on VO-BB that you have this voice within you. If you don't, and its ok if you don't, then obviousky ignore this suggestion.

If you do have it, I would consider adding it because its a money voice that fully 45% of auditions seem to be requesting (husband, dad or just guy) and so you might want them to know you can pull it off too.

As always, I hope this helps. Nice job overall.
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audioconnell Voice Over Talent
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Donovan · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 10:19 am Post subject:

Thanks to all you have commented. I've considered switching the first two spots... we'll have to see about that one. The reason I put it first was for 2 reasons: it grabs attention, hopefully, and puts the urban sound right there. On my previous demos, I was criticized for not putting a more urban sound first. There seemed to have been a disconnect between "URBAN VO" and then a leading spot where I was the opposite of that. Believe me, it was a drawn out decision process to put the spots how they are now.

Mr. O'Connell, (I think that's correct apostrophe usage) thanks for the suggestions. I didn't really consider the confused guy style on here. I'm sure I can pull it off (my wife can confirm that) but I didn't feel it fit best within my VO skill set. I don't know... but I see what you're saying. Something interesting to think about. As far as the music bit is concerned, without it - the rest of the spot doesn't make as much sense. I wanted as much of the complete story to fit into the demo. The music has cut off as an example of what NOT using Energizer could do, so cue the bunny's drum and the message. Without the snippet, the message isn't complete.

But once again I REALLY appreciate your time and ideas.
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todd ellis · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 10:35 am Post subject:

i would like to take this opportunity to disagree vehemently with everything peter has said ... for no reason other than that he expects it.

i am perturbed and off-put!!!

Ninja

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audio'connell · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:10 am Post subject:

audio'connell · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:10 am Post subject:

Donovan:

No problem. You know your performance skills best. Trust your judgment. I just know there seems to be a lot of call for that voice type currently. And in spite of my gray hairs you shall refrain from calling me Mr. O'Connell. You may use the same name for me that DB Cooper uses: s***head. Smile

Todd, you have made my day because if I have not "off-put" someone daily, well then I'm just not trying hard enough!

Hopefully I have also made you brood AND pout.

There's a trifecta for you! Wink

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- Peter
audioconnell Voice Over Talent
Your friendly, neighborhood voice over talent

Moe Egan · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:14 am Post subject:

Wow! Awesome demo Donovan! I can't believe how much you've grown vocally since Vegas....I can hear all the hard work you've been putting in! Wowzers.

I have to echo what Peter said, about the music stopping on the battery spot - it threw me off at first, thought there was a glitch in the demo or something. You actually don't need that snippet of music for your lines to make sense, so I'd just cut it out.

Gulf claps ! Laugh

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i want to be the voice in your head.
~~~~~

Diane Maggipinto · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:02 pm Post subject:

sweet, sweetfeet! nice to hear (from) you again!

peter, i, too, am upset with your comments. to wit:

audio'connell · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:12 pm Post subject:

Diane Maggipinto · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:14 pm Post subject:

Moe Egan · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:19 pm Post subject:

((psst, Todd, Diane - you have the t.p. and the shaving cream, togas and kegs ready for tonight?)) What? Oh nothing....hm hm hm.... cool

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Moe Egan
i want to be the voice in your head.
~~~~~

imaginator · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject:

hey, donovan

if you wanted to include the "confused/everyman" angle somewhere in the demo, why not lift that line you did for the Pocket Puppet in the FriendlyCheck spot. it's long enough to show the character, and maybe not so much a "character" as to wreck your commercial pitch.

aside from that, i'll withhold commentary...for no other reason than i'm not sure i'm best qualified right now since i'm questioning my own.

best wishes. from all the other comments, it sounds like you're on the right track
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