VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!
Established November 10, 2004
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Need some demos critiqued ...

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index -> Critique
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
farleyc
Guest





PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject: Need some demos critiqued ... Reply with quote

Hi,
All my demos can be found on voice123 at:
http://farleycadena.voice123.com

I'm most interested in a critique of my commercial demo if anyone's got the time. .... gulp....

Thanks!!
Smile
Back to top
Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11076
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can only really go with my initial response and having listened to all of your commercial demo I was genuinely surprised that my initial response was that I had no response. I wanted to like it, it would've been great to love it and had I hated it then at least I would've tried to offer some constructive comments.

Please don't feel deflated by what I've written, your demo is clearly not a bad demo. Bacon in a wrapper if you like bacon is yummy but it's when it's sizzling under the grill that's the magic happens.

You have the potential to sizzle, your demo is bacon still in its wrapper. Go find your sizzle, it'll be worth the effort.

Good luck.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Frank F
Fat, Old, and Sassy


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 4421
Location: Park City, Utah

PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Farley and welcome aboard, we don't bite -- much.

Critique (for what it is worth): I like the sound of your voice, nice smooth, smiley; but this is where it gets dicey.

Your commercial demo is almost too smiley throughout, this is a personal observation only. Also, I felt, well -- sedate. I wanted more varitey... you perked my ears on one part of the demo near the end, but I had already made up my mind by that time. I had already listened to the previous :40 seconds or so about and was well, not overly stimulated..

I had originally thought I would wait until others had a chance to present their views then either write nothing or comment much later. After listening to the demo a second time, I was lulled into, not excited, about posting.

You obviously have a lot of talent and I would like to hear the emotion of the words presented stronger. This is a "good" demo, not a GREAT demo. Find some more interpretative pieces, offer the listener/producer better variety in tone and style, and present some schmooz (a different non-smiley part of the demo) for a change of pace. hit me with your best shot right out of the gate - your money voice should be the first thing heard on a demo.

Away from the commercial demo, you mentioned more than once you did a good Ethel Merman - I would have preferred to hear that on your "voice" demo rather than the song presented and would like less introduction instrumental as a demo.

Overall, nice demo. And good luck with a website (hint, hint) and getting rep'd. Get to work marketing YOU as a brand voice for the area.

Toodles

F2
_________________
Be thankful for the bad things in life. They opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. email: thevoice@usa.com


Last edited by Frank F on Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:21 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
farleyc
Guest





PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Philip and Frank for taking the time to listen and for your really insightful comments. I am processing them and hopefully I'll come up with some solutions soon.
Smile
Back to top
Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7978
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honest, honest, honest, I'm not being mean here. You're clearly very talented and you do "cute" very well, but I'm hearing cute in the vast majority of what you do. You'll get more work by showing a wider variety of voices. Woman, let me hear you roar. Let me hear you be sexy without being cute. Let me hear you be a no nonsense Mom. Part of what makes the cute sound is being so close and intimate with the microphone. Let's hear some rich voiced, diaphragmatic reading too. Not yelling, but a woman who has the confidence of her convictions.

Lastly, and this echoes the earlier comments, I'd like to hear you believe what you're saying more. I hear lots of technique but not much emotional depth on many cuts. Yes, that peanut butter really is the best for my kids.

Keep it up.

B
_________________
VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
DaveChristi
King's Row


Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 1033
Location: Bend, OR

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you've gotten some top notch advice here. To echo Bruce, I'd like to hear a bit more "rough edge" in your demo. Bad girl, NOT naughty, attitude.

Listen to this clip. Think you could duplicate that kind of attitude? I think you could.

Have fun!

Dave

Get Lost
_________________
Dave "Christi" Felton
The Character Voice Actor
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
farleyc
Guest





PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Bruce & DaveChristi! You've all given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate it!!
Back to top
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index -> Critique All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group