VO-BB - 19 YEARS OLD!

[Don Hammock]

Hello everyone,

I am producing a short video for a guy's website, and have been having some equipment problems. I think I have a temporary fix, but would appreciate some inputs just to make sure.

Thanks for the help,
Don

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKqubCaKgVs

[Bish]

Hey Don, I have to admit to suppressing some improper & inappropriate thoughts. The subject matter was a little alien to me... and I'm the first to admit, that is my problem, not anyone else's. I guess it's a culture-shock thing.

Seriously though, I think you need to lose the opening shot of the building exterior (or at least bury it further in). There's some clean-looking high-tech equipment, some serene animal shots, and the main thrust seems to be that they are caring, efficient, compassionate and trustworthy. It took me a while to shake off the image of the building exterior, which seems completely incongruous... the problem is, having it at the start sets the tone.
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Bish a.k.a. Bish
Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast.
I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls.

[Jeffrey Kafer]

What kind of feedback are you looking for, Don? Technical? writing? The VO?
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Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

[todd ellis]

+1 for dropping the opening shot - i wouldn't use it at all - looks very "out by the airport industrial" not at all pleasing.

i would loose the cheesy transitions. i'd stick with a basic cross-fade or non-additive dissolve - simple & less distracting.

the whole thing seems a little draggy - i know it's slower paced - but you might think about cutting each shot by 10%-15%

jmho
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"i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?

[Benjamin Stovall]

What Jeffrey said. Your question will get scattershot responses because it's not clear what kind of feedback you're looking for. I do video editing for a living, so I will focus on that, though I'll likely be more critical than most on the subject. That said, I'll be very direct because you seem to be genuinely looking for helpful feedback:

There are several problems that I see with the video.

First:

You may have witnessed many others (especially on YouTube) who use various transitions such as barn doors, peels, matrix wipes, etc., such as you used at the intro and gratuitously throughout this piece, but I can tell you this: use of those is viewed as very amateurish by professional standards. You've seen it on TV (car commercials are notorious for it) but, if you are looking to achieve the perception of "polished" and "professional" these should be avoided. Relegate them to home movies and instead utilize:

1. Cuts
2. Dissolves
3. Fade Ins/Fade Outs

and on appropriate occasions

4. Iris transitions

(For more on these see: http://www.elementsofcinema.com/editing/types-of-transition.html)

Please understand, if your client loves it, that's what ultimately matters. But, if your goal is to achieve what is widely viewed as a "professional looking edit", then my previous comments probably apply.

Second:

Your aspect ratio is off. Your images are stretched horizontally. It also appears that you may have "pan and scanned" some of them causing significant cropping to at least one of your images to fit the widescreen aspect ratio.

Third:

Your resolution is too low. It's at 240P and I would advise you to bump that up to an absolute minimum of 480P, but it would be better if you used 720P or higher.

Fourth:

Your font is difficult to read. Brush script fonts can be difficult to read at times (especially if there is movement), but this is exacerbated by the fact that your resolution is very low and in one instance, black was used as the background color to display red letters that appear to have a 1-pixel white outline. Red on black is probably not the best choice here. Also, outlines on fonts can cause blurriness at low resolutions due to the lack of detail available in the final output. Incidentally, if the video had filled the player window's available height (instead there are black bars top and bottom) you may have had enough room at the top or bottom of your pet image to place easily readable black text on the light-colored background. I would advise that this text remain static for the sake of readability. If you want to use an effect on them, try a fade in.

This was confined to mostly technical feedback, as I'm sure there are others more qualified to comment on your performance. I hope this was helpful to you in some way, and best of luck on your project!
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Ben Stovall Voiceover
http://www.benstovall.com

"When you're nearing the end of your rope, tie a knot. Keep on hanging. Keep on remembering, that there ain't nobody bad like you." -- The Electrifying Mojo

[Don Hammock]

Jeff, I was looking for critique on all of it especially the VO(especially since I am having equipment problems)

I really appreciate all you guys input.

I personally hate that opening photo too, but I am playing the hand I was dealt(very few photos & poor quality photos) After the input you guys gave, I am going to try put it somewhere other than the beginning and if possible, eliminate it period.

The copy was written based on what the client wanted, just a basic " this is who we are, this is what we do." He liked the 1st draft of the video as it was.
However, I think he will still be happy with after I make some of the changes that were suggested here( Font, transitions , and resolution)

Again, I really appreciate you guys help and REALLY appreciate you being blunt and honest(if something looks/sounds like Sh^#$ T , I'd rather be told the truth)

Thanks again, you guys are the best !!!
Don

[Bruce]

As for the audio, the overall volume is low and your voice is a bit low in comparison to the music. I can hear the booth or the space you're in a bit more than is desirable. A read critique might be that you over-stress some words, and sometimes words that shouldn't be heavily stressed at all.

Are you processing the audio at all? Some compression might help to boost the "presence" and even things out.

B
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VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .