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All right *Gulp* Please give me your honest opinion.
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Christopher French
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Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 283
Location: The Mitten, USA

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:43 pm    Post subject: All right *Gulp* Please give me your honest opinion. Reply with quote

I'm trying to figure out if I'm finally getting the hang of this VO thing yet. I submitted an audition piece to a company for a website narration. It's the first time I've attempted to actually audition for narration (I HAVE been practicing) and I'm feeling rather nervous about it. I bow down before you all and ask you to give a listen and tell me what you think. . .

Thanks

http://media.putfile.com/Website-VO-Audition
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Jeffrey Kafer
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Joined: 09 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I listened to it, I get the feeling that you're reading to me. And that you're kind of talking down to me, almost patronizingly (perfect example is when you say "200 hundred dollars!"). It sounds like you're trying to be peppy about the copy, but are not actually excited about what you're reading.

Also unless there's something regional I'm not aware of the word is "INdustry", not "inDUHstry". I think I also heard you say "one nine hunnerd". Those stood out to me.
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Last edited by Jeffrey Kafer on Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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asnively
Triple G


Joined: 17 Jun 2006
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Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Christopher!

You have an interesting voice. Please forgive me, but you did ask for honest feedback, right? Here are some areas to work on:

A natural, conversational read (be careful of sounding sing-songy. Your inflection is not natural, and you're emphasizing some words in odd places.)

Smooth it out-- your delivery is a bit choppy.

Talk to a grown-up. Visualize a smart. grown-up friend, and give them this important information. The tone and delivery style came off as though you were doing educational presentation for very young children.

When did you record this? Has it been more than 24 hours? If not, wait a bit and listen to it again. Time can really help you gain enough objectivity to see where you can improve. Until you get good at self-direction, the "sleep on it" method can be invaluable!

Keep working on it! Don't give up!
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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also, fyi, 'often' has s silent 't'
Good luck!
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Frank F
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Joined: 10 Nov 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Miss Magpie,

"OFTEN can be said either way... although it is preferable and more correct as "off-en". "Off-ten" is acceptable (darn it) as it is in the vein of "diversity".

/ˈɔfən, ˈɒfən; ˈɔftən, ˈɒf-/ [aw-fuhn, of-uhn; awf-tuhn, of-]

Now say the words: coupon, February, library, and mountain properly.

F2
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asnively
Triple G


Joined: 17 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought "ofTen" was considered a regionalism and that "offen" is "broadcast" English? I'm with Diane. I don't want to hear the T in a VO!
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Frank F
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Off-en I hear the Brits (yes, Banksey - the folks from the UK) say "off-ten" and most offen I hear the incorrect pronunciation on national TV ads such as the "Energizer Bunny". So the proper pronunciation must be colloquial to the world wide region.

Kids these days do not offen have the proper ej-oo-kay-shun"

I have the que-pons to prove it, but my coo-pons work better.

Toodles

F2
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Christopher French
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Joined: 15 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is so weird! Growing up here in Michigan, I've off-en heard it pronounced of-Ten! In fact, I don't remember hearing it pronounced off-en before tonight. . .

Chris (the h is silent, Smile)
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asnively
Triple G


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know that people in Michigan have accents, right? Smile
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Jeffrey Kafer
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always ask clients how they want that word pronounced. I tend to hit the T while they usually want it silent.
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Christopher French
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 15 Jan 2006
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Location: The Mitten, USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

asnively wrote:
You know that people in Michigan have accents, right? Smile


I always thought the "Michigan accent" was the absense of an accent. I do remember being told once in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Waldorf, Maryland by a woman that she "Loves my Northern accent." Do I have an accent?
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tackerman
The Gates of Troy


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone has an accent. Some just more than others.
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asnively
Triple G


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Except me.
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KaseyKruz
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

asnively wrote:
You know that people in Michigan have accents, right? Smile

Naw...Michiganders dont have accents, every one else does...
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Christopher French
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to everyone for their helpful suggestions! I'm going to rerecord that piece tonight (even though it's too late for the audition) using the advice you all gave me. Oh, and also, Frank mentioned some words that we should all try to say properly. . .well, how's this?

http://media.putfile.com/The-Proper-way-to-say--

I'll be posting my new version of the audition piece here later tonight so you can all have at it again Smile

Thanks,

Chris
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