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I gots me a narration demo

 
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Donna
King's Row


Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 1118
Location: The studio or the barn.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:48 am    Post subject: I gots me a narration demo Reply with quote

Please let me know what you think:


http://www.vo-bb.com/demos/DonnaPostel_narration_demo.mp3
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Diane Maggipinto
Spreading Snark Worldwide


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 6679
Location: saul lay seetee youtee

PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

donna--i listened just once and have these small, initial reactions.

your demo starts with a piece that sounds like a commercial. i'd cut that out altogether. i'd move cut 4 to the #3 place, and #3 might start after "satisfied guests come back" for a better dividing line. it seems your mix of reads/approaches is more demonstrable toward the back end of the demo, so perhaps reworking the order will better show your range. also, the demo stops abruptly ...

nice voice and reads!
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11076
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Delightful sound but it's not a narration demo. Far too much over inflection and Voice Over affectation. The voice beneath the "now 25% off but for this week ONLY. Uzi the sub machine gun for the drive by, don't you drive by, get yours today" commercial sound is a real narrator. You need to explain what the viewer doesn't see, impart the information, sell nothing and all the inflection comes from eye contact.

You can tell me anything but I'd rather you didn't Voice at me.
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Donna
King's Row


Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 1118
Location: The studio or the barn.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Diane and Philip,
Thank you both for taking the time to listen, and for your excellent advice.

I agree, Diane, that the first piece sounds like a commercial. It was a point-of-purchase video, so maybe it should go on the commercial demo -- or just go away. I'm going to play around with the order you suggested and try to smooth out the ending.

And sir Philip, you have nailed it as usual. 99.8% of my work is commercial, so that sound is something I tend to fall into. And I love the way you write!

The uzi is being mothballed,

Donna
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Lance Blair
M&M


Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 2281
Location: Atlanta

PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Philip Banks wrote:
Delightful sound but it's not a narration demo. Far too much over inflection and Voice Over affectation. The voice beneath the "now 25% off but for this week ONLY. Uzi the sub machine gun for the drive by, don't you drive by, get yours today" commercial sound is a real narrator. You need to explain what the viewer doesn't see, impart the information, sell nothing and all the inflection comes from eye contact.

You can tell me anything but I'd rather you didn't Voice at me.


This was really helpful Philip, thank you. It almost sounds as if one should approach things as Voice Under rather than Voice Over (or, overvoice to be slightly Germanic about it)?

As for eye contact, that's very true. A read today had three "looks" for each interpretation: looking straight ahead at a close up listener, looking over the shoulder at a group, and looking at an imagined radio handset. The head doesn't move, but the mindset moves with the eyes.

And Donna, I like listening to you...it's almost there (and remove the first part). It may all be a bit over-compressed as well which emphasizes the commercial tone of things. Let it breathe...

Good luck!
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todd ellis
A Zillion


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 10531
Location: little egypt

PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

donna - i really, really like your voice. i agree with philip, though, that the demo is not very "narrationy" - it's very good, but a bit over the top, announcer-wise for long form. unfortunately, my advice would be to take a step back, a good hard look, and take another run at it. to borrow from above, talk WITH me and TO me ... not at me.

hopefully we'll be able to have lunch on the landing soon!
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