VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!
Established November 10, 2004
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Short story for critique

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index -> Critique
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
JBarrett
M&M


Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 2043
Location: Las Vegas, NV

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:28 pm    Post subject: Short story for critique Reply with quote

Before I found the VO-BB many a moon ago, I found Librivox, and started getting VO practice reading stuff for that site. Looking back on it, though, I'm not sure I'd call it practice. Was it reading out loud? You betcha! Was it practice? Eh....not really.

In the last six months to a year, I haven't done much with Librivox, but I've been working my tail off with lots of informal (off-mic) practice whenever the spark hit me. I feel that my narrative work has come a long way, and on a whim decided to record a short story for a Librivox compilation project not too long ago:

The Cobweb
(13 minutes)

I already have my own list of could-be-betters, and would love to hear your thoughts on it if you have the time. Thanks for listening!
_________________
Justin S. Barrett
http://www.justinsbarrett.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Jeffrey Kafer
Assistant Zookeeper


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 4931
Location: Location, Location!

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Didn't listen to the whole thing, but what sticks out first is that you need to slow down. You have good spacing in between sentences, but the words themselves feel rushed and as such, you're under enunciating some of them. Each word is important, let them have their time.
_________________
Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
JBarrett
M&M


Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 2043
Location: Las Vegas, NV

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for listenin', Jeff. Yeah, the speed thing...that's an item that's been on my gotta-work-on list for a long time. While I feel I've made good progress in that regard, there's clearly still more work to do. It's funny, though...when I'm doing character stuff, it's almost never an issue, but when the read is supposed to be more casual, my brain still wants to force the sounds through faster than they should go. It's enough to drive a guy batty, ya know?

Thanks for your frank feedback! Smile
_________________
Justin S. Barrett
http://www.justinsbarrett.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD! Forum Index -> Critique All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group