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asnively · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 3:04 pm Post subject: Audiobook demo

If you've got a couple of minutes, I'd be grateful for any feedback on this non-fiction humor audiobook snippet. Listen

Also, has the controversy on audiobook demos been sorted yet? Scott Brick says (at least he used to say!) five genres, 2-6 minutes each. Pat, I believe, says three genres, :30-:60 each. Audible likes a "two-minute MP3 clip of your audiobook narration," presumably one continuous narration vs. a sampler from two or three. Thoughts?

Thank you!
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asnively · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:28 pm Post subject:

Uh oh. Is it that bad? Embarrassed

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Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:02 pm Post subject:

It's only been 4 hours, Amy. Do you offer critiques that fast?

Patience, Grasshopper.
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Bruce · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:19 pm Post subject:

I couldn't vote because none of the choices fit the sitcheeation. You're clearly very good behind the mic. My biggest thought is your choice of attitude in the reading. I don't know the book so I'm kinda shooting in the dark here, but I felt you were rather formal (crisp, a little staccato) and sounded more than just a little annoyed with your children. I was thinking wouldn't you be a little more whimsical in a comedy book? I was hearing "Boy, kids can sure be a pain" with none of the "But I love them anyway" subtext that would lighten the mood.

B
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Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 9:33 pm Post subject:

here are my thoughts:

1) It felt like you were reading. I didn't hear enough of "let me tell you a story". Slow down. let the whitespace take on some of the story-telling.

2) Your choice of copy is not good. There's no dialogue. You need to feature dialogue on your demo, especially that of the opposite gender. How you transfer from character to character to narrator is something to feature. Yes, your sample is non-fiction, but it's narrative non-fiction, so it should read like fiction.

I like your tone and obviously you've got a knack for humor. You're an accomplished actor. I really want to hear that come through.

I subscribe to the Scott Brick philosophy and that's simply because there is no one more proficient at the craft than he. So I'd suggest some different demos that illustrate other facets of audiobook narration.
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asnively · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 10:57 pm Post subject:

Thanks, guys!

Maybe this isn't the best selection for me. It sounds like I'm not hitting the right mood or intention. Or, maybe I'm thinking too much about choices I'd make if I were doing the entire project and that doesn't shrink down well to a two-minute snippet...? I can't tell.

I don't want any dialog in this track because I already have so much dialog in my existing adult and juvenile fiction tracks, but I do want to show that I've got comedy chops. Since that's not coming through, I think that also supports finding something else that would help me shine.

I'm so grateful for the help! I was just too close to it to see that I was missing the mark by a mile!

<3
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Mike Sommer · Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 11:59 pm Post subject:

OK here ya go- you know I love ya.

I agree with just about everything stated above.

You're reading, and not telling me a story.
The story has no ebb and flow.

This story is a monolog. It's a tired haggard mother of three, unloading dishes in a saggy old nightgown. She's obviously an intelligent woman, maybe and college grad, but is now being held hostage by three toddlers, and she can't figure out how in the world, or even when, everything went so terribly wrong. That's your character.

In a narrative it is very important to remember you are the voice of the author.
In fiction you can imbue the delivery with tones and phrasing, to color and shade the story. But do so with a light hand. Save richer colors for points of action, particularly where the character is metering out the juice, give the feeling of a frustrated "I'll do anything to shut these kids up" zombie like mom. This will lift the descriptive writing and help fully illustrate the scene as if it were actually happening. But the over all tone, would as if I'm sitting at the kitchen table, talking to a friend over a cup of coffee.

If it's a Factual narrative, however, the narrative tone should be purely descriptive, and left without any shading of personal emotional reaction. Unless the facts documented actually describe or represent the author's opinion - as an unabashed advocate (perhaps in order to prompt public participation to avert an impending disaster, or "right a terrible wrong").
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