VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

asnively

I'm refreshing my commercial demo. This is what I've cut together so far... I know there are level and mastering issues, just wondering what you think of the content, the order of the spots, and the overall pace.

Here it is!

Thanks!
Smile

Amy
_________________
the Amy Snively family of brands for all your branded thing needs.
Amy Snively
Faff Camp
FaffCon
TalkerTees

bobsouer · Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:10 pm Post subject:

Amy,

You've probably heard this before, but "do you have any idea how talented you are?" WOW!

The only thing I didn't completely believe was the final line. I just didn't think you were about to take out granny. However, it's a very clever way to end and I like clever endings.
_________________
Be well,
Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
Source Connect, phone patch, pony express

asnively · Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:42 pm Post subject:

Oh, Bob. You are too good to me! Thank you.

(I cleaned up the edits, had my pal Zak fix the mix, and now we have a tentative final cut showing up at the link above.)
_________________
the Amy Snively family of brands for all your branded thing needs.
Amy Snively
Faff Camp
FaffCon
TalkerTees

Scott Pollak · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:05 am Post subject:

Amy, you are - obviously - an amazingly talented pro. This sounds great. There might be a couple of nit-picking things, but they are just that - nit-picks.

First, I'm in agreement with Bob on ALL his comments, including the "Game on, Gramma" closer. I'd lose it and end on the byte just before it. Also, the Tilex byte is SO short you either need to put more of it in, or just lose it completely. We don't even have time to grasp it.

Also, while all your stuff is stellar, I don't feel like you opened with your strongest piece, and the piece you DID open up with flows so unobtrusively into the second cut it takes a minute to realize they're two different bits. The pacing and energy is too similar on both of them. Personally, I'd consider opening with your 4th byte, the "form and fashion" piece... uh, kinda of like this...

http://voicebyscott.com/AS_revised.mp3

Now, all that being said... this is still a great demo as is and most folks would be thrilled to sound half this good. Also, be aware when you post a demo for critique on a forum like this you're opening up the kitchen to all the cooks .... like me!
(Love ya!)
_________________
Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com

Bruce · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 7:54 am Post subject:

I think it's a great reflection of your abilities! And losing Grandma sounds like a good idea to me, too. Carry on sister!

B
_________________
VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .

todd ellis · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 8:38 am Post subject:

i like it minus grandma too. i think the "belt" line is a good closer.
_________________
"i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?

asnively · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:47 am Post subject:

Thank you, gentlemen! It's such a nerve-wracking process, and after listening to everything 8.2 bazillion times, it's impossible for me to tell what's what anymore! Having smart friends with fresh ears is valuable beyond words. I love you guys!

We've lost Grandma. I didn't personally hear the similarity of the first two spots, so that was good to know. Is this better (or worse)?

And here's a slightly different arrangement... (My brain is bleeding!)
_________________
the Amy Snively family of brands for all your branded thing needs.
Amy Snively
Faff Camp
FaffCon
TalkerTees

Bailey · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:18 pm Post subject:

asnively · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:37 pm Post subject:

LOL! Hugs to you, Bailey. You are a nut.

This is my personal favorite version, but I'm still agonizing about Scott's insight that the first two spots are too similar to go next to each other...

Amy's favorite version so far, but what the hell does she know?
_________________
the Amy Snively family of brands for all your branded thing needs.
Amy Snively
Faff Camp
FaffCon
TalkerTees

SteVO · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:46 pm Post subject:

ooooooooooo you inspire me to get really good so I can be half as good as you Laugh

(even a quarter as good would work for now.)

audio'connell · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:34 pm Post subject:

Snively you suck! You'll never get a job as a voice talent!

See - now everything I say from this point forward will sound absolutely gracious!

BTW for sake of clarity to the uninformed, I don't seriously believe this demo sucks -Ms. Snively is well aware of my voice crush.

I have purposely NOT read the other comments so Amy can see if there is consensus or not.

Here's the thing - we've got new Amy branding, right? Funny - modern - mom.

In the first 15-20 seconds, the spots I'm hearing don't jump out to match that branding and if I am a producer THAT's the first thing that needs to come at me on the demo.

THAT WILL break up the clutter of the truly sucky demos that I'm forced to listen to because I didn't take my mother's advice and go to medical school.

Specifically, what didn't come off right away was the funny - like the "oh no she didn't" spot - which didn't come on until later and wasn't the bigger smile I was expecting.

Mom was on there, modern was there, but the funny everywoman didn't pop out at me. That's something that needs to be revisited.

The rest of the content was quality - I might rearrange it but that might be more personal preference (which is what every demo producing expert won't cop to - well most won't).

Amy could read the phone book and I would listen but not all producers are as discerning as I am. This demo is close to being done. A few tweaks and you are there.

I hope this helps.

Best always,
- Peter
_________________
- Peter
audioconnell Voice Over Talent
Your friendly, neighborhood voice over talent

melissa eX · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:50 pm Post subject:

I like your favorite - but I like it better with the ending clipped - as you have it in "Is this better or worse?"

Before I read Peter's post I also thought 'Oh no" should be closer to the beginning.

And for what it's worth - at least to my ears - I don't think the first and second sound the same.

Damn you're good, lady!

asnively · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:35 pm Post subject:

You guys are awesome (and way too kind!) I'm so grateful to you all.
Really smart feedback! But I know what you're thinking: "How much longer are we going to have to wait before Amy posts yet another version of her blasted demo? It's been nearly 10 minutes. The suspense is killing us!"

Peter had some additional smart feedback and two spots have been shortened, something has been cut completely, a couple of things have moved, and three brand new things have been added--two of which are bone dry and I'm not quite sure what to do with them.

(I've tacked the dry clips to the end so you can tell me if the sound quality is hopeless. Also, if you have a suggestion for what to do with them, I could use a hint!)

Now I just have to fix a little technical thing for Gp, and then we're good to go? (Aside from finally getting that phone book recorded for Peter's iPod, of course.)

Here it is...
_________________
the Amy Snively family of brands for all your branded thing needs.
Amy Snively
Faff Camp
FaffCon
TalkerTees

Mandy Nelson · Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:37 am Post subject:

Good thing I still have a few burp clothes around to wipe up my drool. Waiter, I'll take what Amy's having.
_________________
006 member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mic. Bonded by sound.

Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?

Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband