VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[Darren Altman]

I think it's too long, but wanted to get lots of styles in there and I've already chopped it down quite heavily. I welcome your thoughts and comments on how to improve this.


http://www.4shared.com/audio/z8JCpVXT/Commercial_Reel_2011.html


Thanks in advance.
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[Philip Banks]

A word dropped into my head a few seconds into the demo - Deliberate. Your sound is not the obvious choice for the formal, firm and factual commercials. You're my mate not my mentor, my ally not my adviser.

Include you on your commercial demo.
Include only the stuff you are able to do standing on your head with a hang over whilst be beaten across the buttocks with a 9lb Hake.
Include only 60 seconds.

[Darren Altman]

Phillip, thanks for listening.

I get what you're saying, I'm maybe not as mature as a guy who should be advising people about insurance for example and I take on board that my voice might not be best suited to impart such advice! But can you clarify something for me? If I was chosen for a job and the client was happy enough to let it air, then surely I the read stands up?

Im not being facetious! If we as voiceoverists have to be directable and versatile to suit a project, style and read, then this is what I'm trying to get across with my commercial reel: ME with the ability to adapt to lots of different styles according to the tone of the read and the direction I'm given.
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[Bruce]

Wow...much to say about the demo here, but let me hit the highlights:

A one minute demo should have at least 6 cuts in it so an average length for each piece would be about :16, and if you go to 8 cuts, that's an average of :12. There are plenty of shorter pieces from within the cuts you've used that will stand on their own. And some cuts can be as short as 5 seconds, just so long as it's a self-contained, interesting moment.

Avoid 2 person spots unless you're 90% of it.

Leave out the "Call now!" call to action piece(s). They're boring and if a producer trusts your other deliveries they can still use you for the utilitarian announcing.

I only listened for 90 seconds or so, but I heard nothing warm or soft...it was almost all loud-ish. Do you do close and personal work?

My ignorance may be showing, but as a Brit, isn't it useful to show a dash more variety of accents? Something a little more posh at least? Most cuts are nice, bubbly you, but is there someone else hiding in there that should come out? (But at the same time, I'll also echo PB's comment on deliberateness.)

Enough for now. You've clearly got lots of talent; you just need a work portfolio (demo) that shows busy buyers the styles of read they want to hear (and buy) in just a minute.

B
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VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .

[Darren Altman]

Bruce, thank you so much.

I was wondering about the 2 person read myself for your reasons, I just thought it would show another side to my delivery, but clearly her voice takes up too much time.

Good advice about the "Call now!" call to action pieces, I'll get rid of them!

I do have softer reads (one was at the end of this after you switched off!) and I take your point, I'll move it down to contrast with the others. I'll also try to find some new reads that balance the 'loud' styles and add variety.

Thank you.
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[Philip Banks]

If I client chooses you for a delivery outside of your usual range or indeed for a sh*t commercial (no indictment on you, we've all done them) that does not qualify it to appear on your demo. A demo shows you and what you are able to do NOT what you have done; unless and only unless the end product is exceptional.

This demo and subsequent demos should be designed to raise the bar which is why I'm being hyper-picky.

[Darren Altman]

I would have to agree about that Pinto Pots ad if I'm honest, especially the front of it. Yes it ended up being on the tv, but I don't like listening to it and think that I could have done a lot better.

I take your point about wanting only the best stuff on there, not as a "look what I've done" but "look what I can do... well."

I'm gonna re-cut this and get back to you!!
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[Mike Sommer]

The only thing this demo is lacking is acting. It's got lots of everything else.

I felt like you were talking "at" me and not talking "to" me. Your reads are earnest with intent, but not sincere from the heart.

I get this feeling that you are too concerned about how you sound, rather than the story or message that you're trying to convey. Everything we do is about the message -the "story"- and the connection to the character/person we are talking to.

Remember everything we do is a dialog between two people. Our scripts may only have our characters side of the conversation, but it is a conversation non-the-less.

Just talk to me.
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Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong.

[Darren Altman]

Great response, thanks Mike. Taken on board!
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