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Writing your own bio is embarrasing. Does this suck?

 
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Whit
Backstage Pass


Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 431
Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 2:57 pm    Post subject: Writing your own bio is embarrasing. Does this suck? Reply with quote

Here's what I have so far, I don't want it to be any longer, short and sweet right? Is it too cutesy? Should I cut the fresh air part? Does it end too abruptly? Do most people write their own bios?? I don't say anything about sounding so young, do I need to?


Whitney is a voice actor with a true to life style and a natural sense of expression. Her voice is full of color, and her perk knob? It goes to 11, but is fully adjustable.

Whitney studied acting at Miami University in Oxford OH, where she graduated with a BFA in theatre performance. She works primarily from her fully equipped home studio, but loves going to local studios too. Seriously, fresh air!! Real people you can shake hands with and give a smile!! What's not to love, right?

Clients describe Whitney as versatile and energetic (they often wonder what she had for breakfast, and if they can please have some), very creative, and full of new ideas.
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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just boil it down:


Clients and fellow actors describe Whitney as a natural, versatile and
energetic actor. Not only is she creative, fun and full of fresh ideas, her
voice is full of color and energy.

A graduate form Miami University in Oxford OH, with a BFA in theatre
performance, Whitney works primarily from her professional home studio, as
well as in many of the local studios in her area.
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Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong.
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Whit
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Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 431
Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for that Mike. I will ponder.
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todd ellis
A Zillion


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 10531
Location: little egypt

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

whit - i like what you have. mike's version is more concise, sure, but i think yours has personality. it sounds honest and i like the style in which it's written - i can HEAR you saying those words. i think it's a keeper.

jmho
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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm just throwing ideas out there for you.

I look just look at it like this. We all pretty much know most Bio's are a lot of fluff anyway, and besides nobody spends a lot of time reading them. So just put it out there, and be honest and simple. You'll have a better chance to impress.

You can follow up your bio with bullet point that highlights your your main achievements and studio equipment.

Here I reworked your closer, just to give you another perspective on it:
Clients describe Whitney as a versatile and energetic Voice Actor. They often ask what she had for breakfast, because she bounces off the walls with an enthusiastic creative energy- always bursting with new ideas and fresh characters. Everything she delivers, contains a warm heart and an honest smile.

The trick is not to sound like you're talking about yourself, you should be in the third party. It should read like a good brochure.
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Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong.
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DougVox
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 1706
Location: Miami

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Whit,

I'm with Todd on this one. Your first draft is loaded with personality, which is exactly the point.
An effective bio isn't one that's generic and can describe just about anyone. And I wouldn't discount
the importance of a good bio just because "nobody spends a lot of time reading them." Why miss
another opportunity to give potential clients a better idea of who you are?

And sure, the factual stuff is relevant, but if you replace the name of the school and the type of degree,
you could be talking about any one of us.

If I was looking to hire voice talent, I'd much prefer to know that your perk knob goes to 11 and is
fully adjustable, than the name of your university.

Let me know what makes you different from the others, not how you're the same.
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Doug Turkel (tur-KELL)
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7978
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I kind of prefer Mike's ideas, but it depends on where this will be going and who you're trying to impress (and yes, if anyone actually reads it...mostly they just want to hear your voice). For a little more flair you could open with something like:

"Born on a dark and stormy night, just below the forbidding gates of Mordor, Whitney's future was cast......."

I mean a grabber of an opening line is very important.

B
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Whit
Backstage Pass


Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 431
Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks a lot for the feedback guys... I guess I'm leaning more towards keeping it pretty much how it is, I like your points Todd and Doug. And Mike thanks for writing that out and showing me options.

Bruce, I lol in your general direction. When I was starting to write this I thought about opening with some line about how I adopted the catch phrase "it's showtime!!" when I was two, and then how I used to annoy my sister in the grocery store when we were kids by pretending I spoke a foreign language and jabbering away endlessly as she glared at me.

I also used to dance in the aisles and I'd make up little routines and then MESS UP ON PURPOSE and start again because I was just sure EVERYBODY was watching me and I wanted them to think I was practicing for a show.

So I'm working on my site with Joomla and grr, I do not like technology. Don't they know I'm an ACTOR!!!!?

Yeah. Need to work on the business end of things to not fail at life.
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BenWils
The Thirteenth Floor


Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 1324
Location: In a Flyover State

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Whit,

I liked it a lot. The only thing that stuck out to me was the 3rd person vs. 1st person thing. While I liked the personality in it, it seemed like it may have been coming from someone else because it was written "about" you. I don't know....most bios I see are 3rd person....I am just wondering if it should be 1st person because of the included personality....and the idea that you want people to think that personality is coming from you.

Perhaps I am over thinking it? Rolls Eyes Gasp Smile
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"To be really good at voiceover, you need to improve your footwork and hip snap."
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is the problem with seeking feedback on forums like these. Now, I'm not discouraging folks from doing this, but remember that creativity is a highly subjective thing and every cook in the kitchen is going to have a different recipe or ingredient that is their personal favorite.

When I submitted my website redesign for critique, I found 2 or 3 things that everyone agreed on (both positive and negative) and felt there was enough of a consensus that those items should be tended to. On others, there was no consensus and so I went with my own preferences.

When working with Nancy Wolfson on my 'branding', she warned me about seeking too much feedback on public forums, partially because you will get exactly what we're seeing here: a hodgepodge of thoughts that can often make your course of action even more confusing. Plus, to be honest, we don't know the qualifications of everyone who is providing feedback to us. That's why I cringe when I see newbies posting their demos on forums like V123.com. Many (possibly most) of those providing feedback over there are as green as the one SEEKING feedback.

So Whit, if you see a recurring 'yay' or 'nay' here on certain aspects, then maybe put a little more weight there. If you see some regularly conflicting opinions on other things - for example the creative aspects of the writing - then go with what YOU think works best.

Truly, I don't believe that one's bio makes that huge of a difference in what we do, unless it's extremely poorly written and makes us look amateurish or buffoon-like. It's our voice that sells us.
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Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

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cyclometh
King's Row


Joined: 06 Aug 2010
Posts: 1051
Location: Olympia, WA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Minor threadjack: I did a post about criticism on my blog recently and Scott, I even mentioned you and the help you gave me while cringing at the demo I posted up on V123 a while back. Smile

http://cyclometh.com/?p=328
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Corey "Vox Man" Snow
http://voxman.net
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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Scott Pollak wrote:
Truly, I don't believe that one's bio makes that huge of a difference in what we do, unless it's extremely poorly written and makes us look amateurish or buffoon-like. It's our voice that sells us.


Exactly! The bio for most people in VO is really little more than just window dressing... fluff... bandwidth filler. I truly believe the bio should be about your training and major accomplishments as an actor and not so much about what people think of you. The commentary should be left as actual testimonials. As you could clearly see I was able to spew all sorts of flowery hot word verbiage about you, and I never met you. Which is why unless a website bio is mostly bullet points of accomplishments, it does not get much of a second look by me.

This is just my POV.
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The Blog:
http://voiceoveraudio.blogspot.com/

Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong.
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Corey: Good blog with some smart stuff there.

Criticism IS hard to take.
But we also have to QUALIFY it. WHO is providing the critique and what are their qualifications. This gets back to newbies critiquing newbies on certain other forums. I've read glowing reviews of demos that were painfully bad. This was because the reviewer really wasn't qualified to accurately judge the demo.

And even harder, we're seeking feedback on artistic endeavors, to a certain degree, whether it's our demo, our website, or our bio. So much subjectivity.

So............ again..................
- Are there recurring comments (positive OR negative) that seem to dominate?
If so, pay some heed to them.

- Is there a general disagreement on other issues?
If so, pay a little less heed to them and trust your gut.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com
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