VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

asnively

So, you get the script and it's very badly written. What do you personally do? The odd wrong word or awkward turn of phrase is easily remedied. But what if the whole thing reads like a bad ESL midterm?

They're ready to pay you what you asked for...up front, even. Would you hop on the mic and sell the hell out of "Luxuriate in the tranquil and recreation in the blue water as your family and friends"?
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Scott Pollak · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:25 am Post subject:

The obvious answer, Amy, is to talk to the client about it. I recently had a job where it was obviously an ESL script and was horribly written. After talking to the client, he encouraged me to do as much re-writing as necessary, which I did (and it was extensive!) and I charged extra for those services. The client seemed happy enough in the end.

You're a pro, Amy, and you've been around this block more than once. Just talk to 'em. If they want it read verbatim, do it, and bill them. Odds are they'll appreciate your offer as an English-speaker to clean it up (for a slight additional charge, of course!)
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Dayo · Cinquecento Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 544 Location: UK

I think we all make small changes for sesne or grammar on the fly, but I refuse to read anything that is goobledegook and have sent back countless scripts for a re-write - tactfully, of course!

As for the example cited, it's pretty funny!

ballenberg · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 4:58 am Post subject:

What? Goodness for to be copy not this be? Enjoyable the pronouncement with what to be for monetary valuation notes of promissory produced on eminent completion.

(kidding aside, Scott's right)

ccpetersen · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:10 am Post subject:

We have a production partner whose scripts often need a little cleaning up, and I offer the changes, do 'em when they approve, and then we work out the fee. Maybe I should add that to the list of services: "English as she is spoke."

todd ellis · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 7:41 am Post subject:

i agree - talk to them - bring it to their attention and offer (for a fee) to help make it sound less engrish and more natural ... that is, IF that is the issue. if they're just eejits send it & forget it.
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Bruce · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:29 am Post subject:

I've made many a minor change on my own and never had a complaint. When it's word salad, I think the better part of honor is to suggest a clean-up and if the original fee doesn't cover it, let them know some money more it will be, young Jedi warrior.

B
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Diane Maggipinto · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:36 am Post subject:

why not end the first sentence on an 'up' and the next sentence on a 'down' and so on and so on?

Wink

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todd ellis · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:02 am Post subject:

diane made me laugh.
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Deirdre · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:02 am Post subject:

OK, Diane got a laff outta me.

Offering to make a script sound "natural" can be an eggshell walk if the client has done the translations and is proud.

Best of luck, and (man, I can't believe I'm saying this) listen to Todd.
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todd ellis · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:04 am Post subject:

ok ... wow!

Embarrassed

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Shock · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:10 am Post subject: bad writing

In the majority of instances where I've had to do a moderate amount of re-writing, it's turned out that the client *expected* that would be the case. This is not to say that it SHOULD be a part of our service, just that far more clients accept corrective revisions as being pretty *normal*.

Some have been upset and wanted it done *exactly* as it was horribly written - but not too many,

In most cases, I've actually received a "Thank you so much for fixing that mess!"
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asnively · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:50 am Post subject:

LOL @ Diane!

Thanks for the advice, gang! I agree with it, that's my usual MO. But, from my experience, projects with scripts like this are typically the most time-consuming in the stack, and time is the thing I have the least of right now.

So, I quoted a rate from my highest tier--so there's enough there for me to throw in some copy doctoring. He's sending me the final script--maybe it'll be better. If not, I'll record it so it makes sense PLUS record it as she is wrote as a back up.

I just don't want to get into a big back-and-forth. I can't imagine ever doing it, but sometimes I admit I'm tempted to have them sign off on the final copy and then make the words sound purdy.
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Mike Harrison · Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:45 pm Post subject:

Wowee-wow! Let's hope this copy is the result of a really, really bad translation. If it isn't, your client has a much bigger problem.

I'm kind of afraid of what the truth might be. i.e. does this mean, if there are some voice talent who don't make or suggest changes to less-than coherent copy, that there is educational material out there with this kind of content? That's a very scary thought.
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Michael Schoen · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:08 pm Post subject:

A couple of years ago, I did an English version of a promotional video for a Mexican company. The script they sent was in very bad English and I fixed it.
Then, last month, they came back because the company had changed its name.
Same atrocious script with the new name!
I had to clean it up again.
When the whole script is poor you HAVE to fix it in consultation with the client. In this case, the client's English was shaky.
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