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CLIENTS FROM HELL
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Deirdre
Czarina Emeritus


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 13023
Location: Camp Cooper

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:07 am    Post subject: CLIENTS FROM HELL Reply with quote

http://clientsfromhell.net/archive


"I dont want dark grey. I am looking for more of a light black."

"It might not be much pay, but think of it as practice for when you get a job that pays."

"Almost. I want less of a rectangle, and more of a long square."
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Fran McClellan
The Thirteenth Floor


Joined: 15 Feb 2010
Posts: 1314
Location: Middle of Nowhere, PA

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL!!! Love it!
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11074
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

British actor Martin Clunes was in a voice over session and the agency creative made the following request.

"That was great Martin but now can you do it with a bit more of an over all general accent".

Without pausing for a second Martin nodded at the sound engineer and replied.

"No need, Matt can just put it through his dialect filter".
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7977
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Total threadjack coming thanks to you Philip. We absolutely LOVE Martin Clunes in the series Doc Martin. He, and the cast, are great. I believe several episodes are available on Hulu these days, some on YouTube of all things, and all the rest are out there on the webs with some digging. The story line progresses so it's best to start at the beginning.

I've also seen him on some talk show segments. He looks like an absolute delight of a man, quite opposite his character on Doc Martin.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Clients from Hell.

B
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I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
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ccpetersen
With a Side of Awesome


Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 3708
Location: In Coherent

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My personal favorite:

"Which way will the website appear in Australia?"


˙sıɥʇ ǝʞıן ʞooן pןnoʍ ʇı ʇɥbnoɥʇ ʇuǝıןɔ ǝɥʇ ssǝnb ı
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Todd Ethridge
Contributor III


Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Posts: 86
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

An engineer friend and I have this inside joke about some producers.

"Yeah...that was pretty good. Now can you give us a read while standing on your head? That'd be grrrreat".

Laugh
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11074
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The next time you get, and you will get it "give us more of a pause".
Reply thus: Oh you want the Iranian double-pause? No problem.
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Jacob Ekstroem
Club 300


Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 317
Location: A padded room with no windows somewhere in Scandinavia

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

- "Jacob, that was great, but um... was that Swedish??"
- "Um... no... that was Danish."
- "Danish?? Oh... we thought you were Swedish. Do you know a Swedish voice talent?"

(Hasn't happened yet, but I just know it will... someday.)
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Deirdre
Czarina Emeritus


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 13023
Location: Camp Cooper

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only Danes speak Danish. Others just "understand" it.

Smile
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in a play once - and once only - with a particular director who, during rehearsals, told me she wanted me to "levitate".

Um.

Okay.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

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Todd Ethridge
Contributor III


Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Posts: 86
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"We want you to sound like you're at Disneyland....but not that UP."

Huh?
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JCDunn
Contributor IV


Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Posts: 134
Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I need you to sound like Sean Connery, but without the accent." Shocked
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J. Christopher
Your words deserve a clear voice.
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Michael Schoen
Backstage Pass


Joined: 14 May 2008
Posts: 443
Location: New York City

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had one where the agency guy said -- we love your one on one conversational style.
and then the client said:
"We're launching a breakthrough product.
" We need James Earl Jones not Mr Rogers!"

Two good things came of this.
I got paid. And the agency guy recommended me for other work.
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bransom
DC


Joined: 06 Nov 2008
Posts: 650
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:10 second tag for TV spot for a water park:

Client says, "You sound like you're talking to the moms. Sound like you're talking to the kids!"

Copy reads: "Book your child's next birthday party at..."

Umm, okay.
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Bob Ransom
"I really need a pithy quote here."
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CC Heim
Backstage Pass


Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 401

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bransom wrote:

Client says, "You sound like you're talking to the moms. Sound like you're talking to the kids!"

Copy reads: "Book your child's next birthday party at..."


Perhaps this is their target audience????

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_youngest_birth_mothers
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