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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi

Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11075 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:00 am Post subject: Ask the Faffer ...A new problem page |
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Yes, that's right! Exclusively for YOU Faffangelists on the VO-BB have agreed COMPLETELY without knowledge to solve ALL your problems so just ask away! ...
I'll start
Dear Faffer,
Whilst international barriers physically exist we are caught in an electronic trading war. Real exchange controls are now unworkable as "electronic currency" can be traded at the drop of the proverbial hat. In order to avoid wild movements in global markets would a return to the "gold standard" stabilise economies post the blips resulting from seeing how much a nation "has" as opposed to now seeing how much they can stick on their credit card?
Yours hedgingly
Mr P.A Banks BA(oxon)LLB
Emeritus Lap dancer and supermodel |
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Bruce Boardmeister

Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 7977 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:21 am Post subject: |
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Dear Mr. Banks,
Whilst returning to the gold standard is most enticing, the future of gold is most disappointing; actually frightful. Asteroid and moon mining will soon bring countless tonnes of the AU element straight to terra firma, quadrupling our supply and devaluing that once precious commodity to the level of Silly Putty.
Just before the rockets go up and therefore the value of gold plummets I recommend divesting yourself of all your metal based assets and investing in gluten free Hot Pocket toaster sandwich manufacturers. Billions of us will soon be eating nothing but those tasty all-in-one comestibles and world hunger will be eliminated. We'll be rich I tell you.
B.F. Miles
Faffconomist Emeritus
. _________________ VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005
I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. . |
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heyguido MMD

Joined: 31 Aug 2011 Posts: 2507 Location: RDU, the Geek Capitol of the South
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:57 am Post subject: |
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Pies! Pies for all! Woo-hooo!  _________________ Don Brookshire
"Wait.... They wanna PAY me for this?" |
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi

Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11075 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:27 am Post subject: |
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Commend to the Honourable Member the humble Cornish Pasty.
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Bish 3.5 kHz

Joined: 22 Nov 2009 Posts: 3738 Location: Lost in the cultural wasteland of Long Island
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:27 am Post subject: |
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Dear Lap-Dancer Extraordinaire,
Your particular geographic location and profession make this issue one of daily concern to you, but unfortunately one that's viewed as just a minor inconvenience to most of the audience here. Almost all are very happy with the folding greenstuff that slips conveniently into a sock garter or jock-strap. Having a slightly more international outlook than most, I can sympatise with your situation, and have often had to deal with the problem of what to do with Euros & Pounds. Thankfully my posing-pouch does not have to deal with additional strain of Lira nowadays, but certainly, £2 coins can be uncomfortable. Like many others in my position, I indulge in transatlantic banking with US and UK accounts that can accommodate most eventualities. It can be viewed as unfortunate in some respects, but many customers at the bar fall victim to the bouncer at the door who will take their money and convert it into the ubiquitous greenstuff. He makes more than I do and refuses to spread the wealth. Someone tried to solve the problem with BitCoins, but they don't seem to be taking off... partly because once stuffed into the boot-lace strap, they became somewhat akin to a dubious cheque from a creepy stranger. As for a return to the gold standard... well, gold would work nicely, but returning to the standard would just highlight how worthless these little green bits of paper really are... and no one can afford for that to happen!
No real help I'm afraid...
P.F.Bishop, aITD, C&G (basketweaving), DDPeC _________________ Bish a.k.a. Bish
Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast.
I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls. |
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jsgilbert Backstage Pass

Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 468 Location: left coast of u.s.
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:55 am Post subject: |
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Mr. or Ms. Faffer,
In an attempt to have a fallback plan for my current voiceovering, I have been keeping turkeys. My question is, Do you know the best treatment for my recording area to keep the "gobbles" from coming through on my auditions and jobs.
If you can help me with an extremely low cost solution (I'm trying to save up for a Snowball microphone), there's some drumsticks in it for you.
Yours Truly,
J S "The warm and gooey voice" Gilbert
If you're not hiring J S for your v.o.;s, you're a mindless git _________________ j.s. gilbert
js@jsgilbert.com
www.jsgilbert.com
"today is the first day of the rest of the week" |
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Mike Harrison M&M

Joined: 03 Nov 2007 Posts: 2029 Location: Equidistant from New York City and Philadelphia, along the NJ Shore
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:19 am Post subject: |
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jsgilbert wrote: | Do you know the best treatment for my recording area to keep the "gobbles" from coming through on my auditions and jobs. |
The turkey idea is a good one; you must do OK around the holidays. But, for your problem, I can't imagine why you haven't tried the widely used noise gate approach. Although I, personally, would wait for the certainly soon-to-be-released De-Gobble plugin. _________________ Mike
Male Voice Over Talent
I have taken leave of my sensors.
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melissa eX MMD

Joined: 20 Oct 2007 Posts: 2794 Location: Lower Manhattan, New Amsterdam, the original NYC
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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But, how high should the gate be so the turkeys can't get over the top? And should I padlock it? Some of those turkeys are smart enough to figure out how to open the latch. |
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Lee Gordon A Zillion

Joined: 25 Jul 2008 Posts: 6864 Location: West Hartford, CT
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Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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jsgilbert wrote: | I have been keeping turkeys. My question is, Do you know the best treatment for my recording area to keep the "gobbles" from coming through on my auditions and jobs.
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Perhaps your wall panels could use some more stuffing.  _________________ Lee Gordon, O.A.V.
Voice President of the United States
www.leegordonproductions.com
Twitter: @LeeGordonVoice
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todd ellis A Zillion

Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 10529 Location: little egypt
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Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:26 am Post subject: |
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dear j.s. gobbles,
don't forget, male turkeys generate a great deal of fan noise. the aforementioned gate, should handle most of it, though. _________________ "i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?
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Simon Phillips Contributor II
Joined: 27 Jul 2010 Posts: 69 Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:30 am Post subject: |
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jsgilbert wrote: | Do you know the best treatment for my recording area to keep the "gobbles" from coming through on my auditions and jobs.
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Just rebrand yourself as J.S. Giblet and instead of worrying about the noise, you can charge extra for it. |
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todd ellis A Zillion

Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 10529 Location: little egypt
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Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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MUCH better than what i had. _________________ "i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?
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jsgilbert Backstage Pass

Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 468 Location: left coast of u.s.
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Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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Bravo! _________________ j.s. gilbert
js@jsgilbert.com
www.jsgilbert.com
"today is the first day of the rest of the week" |
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Jen Gosnell A Hundred Dozen

Joined: 14 Jan 2010 Posts: 1290 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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For the first time, Bish has written a post that makes considerably less sense to me than one of Philip's!
And furthermore:
Simon Phillips wrote: | J.S. Giblet |
Ha!! Simon wins Post of the Month. Maybe of the Year!  _________________ jen@jengosnell.com
https://www.jengosnell.com
Skype: jen.gosnell
971.258.2448 |
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Lizden A Zillion

Joined: 04 Dec 2006 Posts: 8864 Location: The dark recesses of my mind
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Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:06 am Post subject: |
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Suddenly I have a craving for gold encrusted cranberry sauce.
 _________________ Liz de Nesnera O.A.V. ~ Livin' The VO Dream!
English/French Bilingual VO w/ ISDN
HireLiz.com / liz@hireliz.com |
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