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Mainstreetprod Guest
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 1:20 pm Post subject: Critique requested for new, improved demo |
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I posted a demo a couple of weeks ago, got some useful feedback and have reworked it. Listen to the results at
http://fredwilharm.voice123.com/
and let me know what you think. Thanks all for your time
Fred |
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Mainstreetprod Guest
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:57 pm Post subject: The silence is deafening! |
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70 views and no response- the silence is deafening! Maybe some reassurance is in order to get a critique.
(right hand in air)
"I, Fred Wilharm, hereby promise not to be offended if someone says
my demo is lousy. Or not great. Or a bad recording. Or amateurish".
My first demo posted got some good constructive criticism, exactly what I needed. So I thought I improved it with this one. Not so? Would it help if
I build a regular website rather than V123, getting the demo bit rate up to 128?
Come on, dish it out, I can take it!  |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13020 Location: Camp Cooper
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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Calling attention to the fact that you didn't get a response IS A NO NO, DAMMIT.
Have you read the rules posted at the top of this forum?
First of all, linking to your V123 site is an instant turn off because it is NOT a link to your demo.
If you want people to hear your demo, make sure your link has a direct path to your demo, or it may very well be ignored.
I didn't go through the critiques that were posted last time so I am approaching this with no notion of what's been said or done about your last demo.
You need to pay close attention to your enunciation, you have some real trouble spots, like the "sts" or "ts" "scs" combination in words like "tastes" or "its" or "discs".
Don't push too hard into a low register, your resonance drops out.
I liked your take on the line "You miss the plane, you miss the meeting, you blow the deal", but I thought you said "missed" until I heard "blow" in the present tense.
Are you using reverb on all those cuts? _________________ DBCooperVO.com
IMDB |
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Bailey 4 Large

Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 4336 Location: Lake San Marcos... north of Connie, northwest of the Best.
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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Don't rush through the reads. Take your time... or the client and especially the customer, will miss the idea and the selling point. Try a little diversity in the recordings. Change up or down... different commercial, different character. Variety of vocal ranges is important in a demo. And always try to get into the character before you speak. _________________ "Bailey"
a.k.a. Jim Sutton
Retired... Every day is Saturday, except Sunday.
VO-BB Member #00044 .gif" alt="W00T" border="0" />
AOVA Graduate 02/2004 ;
"Be a Voice, not an Echo." |
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BenWils The Thirteenth Floor

Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 1324 Location: In a Flyover State
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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What DB said.
Also, you sound like you have a stuffed up nose is some/a lot of the cuts. Not sure if you can do anything about that???.....try to open your voice up more and do not project through your nasal passageway so much. But I digress since I am not an ENT Doctor.
Also back off the mic some....too much proximity effect from what I can hear.
On a positive note, you sound friendly and nice. That is all I have. _________________ Ben
"To be really good at voiceover, you need to improve your footwork and hip snap." |
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Mainstreetprod Guest
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the responses:
RE: Did you read at top of forum about calling attention to no response-
Uhhh- yeah, about 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately, did not remember. Will be
50 soon and am losing brain cells. My hand smarts from being hit with the ruler.
RE: Direct link to demo - am unable to figure out how to do this.
URL does not change when hitting the demo play arrow. According to properties, this is a Flash file. How do I determine the URL?
RE: "Stuffed up nose" - am well aware of that, not much I can do.
Is a little more stuffed than normal due to change of weather.
Will work on the other stuff, or take up bowling instead.  |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13020 Location: Camp Cooper
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Chuck Davis M&M

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 2389 Location: Where I love to be...Between the Vineyards and the Cows.
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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My 2 cents.
I like the freindly sound and the accent. Demo needs more depth though.
Sounds home-made. Maybe enlist the help of a pro going forward?
Sounds like you've got potential....and being just short of 50 is no problem at all!
Just don't give up. _________________ Wicked huge.....in India.
www.chuckdaviscreative.com |
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bobsouer Frequent Flyer

Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 9883 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Mainstreetprod wrote: | RE: Direct link to demo - am unable to figure out how to do this. URL does not change when hitting the demo play arrow. According to properties, this is a Flash file. How do I determine the URL?
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Fred,
When you are looking at your Voice123.com page, to the right of the flash player is a link to "download" the demo file. Click on that and you find this URL:
http://voice123.com/download/d/318762/fredwilharm_61.mp3
That would be the direct link.
Or, what Deirdre said. _________________ Be well,
Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
Source Connect, phone patch, pony express |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13020 Location: Camp Cooper
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Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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And for the record-- I will also be 50 sooner than you think, so pleading brain damage will not work.
 _________________ DBCooperVO.com
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Bailey 4 Large

Joined: 04 Jun 2005 Posts: 4336 Location: Lake San Marcos... north of Connie, northwest of the Best.
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 10:27 am Post subject: |
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Deirdre wrote: | And for the record-- I will also be 50 sooner than you think, so pleading brain damage will not work. |
Wait a minute!... Back up the truck!
Didn't you tell me a year ago that you've been in this business for 30 years... and you started working at age 14?
 _________________ "Bailey"
a.k.a. Jim Sutton
Retired... Every day is Saturday, except Sunday.
VO-BB Member #00044 .gif" alt="W00T" border="0" />
AOVA Graduate 02/2004 ;
"Be a Voice, not an Echo." |
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Deirdre Czarina Emeritus

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 13020 Location: Camp Cooper
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 10:40 am Post subject: |
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Generalities.
It's still hard for me to believe I'm old enough to have been ANYTHING for 30 years.
I got started in radio at age 9.
I was with a rock and roll station when I was 14 as a proto-Dj/board-op/go-fer/occasional commercial voice.
Rock band stuff, late teens.
Was a lounge singer when I was 23.
My first paid radio gig came when I was 25.
blah blah blah.
I'm going to be 49 in April.
I've been doing one damned thing or another most of my life. The math is fuzzy. _________________ DBCooperVO.com
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Dave Lucky 700

Joined: 11 Nov 2004 Posts: 727 Location: Houston, Texas
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:16 am Post subject: |
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Deirdre wrote: | And for the record-- I will also be 50 sooner than you think, so pleading brain damage will not work.
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Ahhhhh... approaching 50 would be such a delight. In my case, 50 has long since faded into the background of my lifes rearview mirror.
Dinosaur Dave _________________ . If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you. |
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Frank F Fat, Old, and Sassy

Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 4421 Location: Park City, Utah
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:32 am Post subject: |
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yeah, well I just hit "the magic age" a couple of weeks ago and I still - a - hmmm - what were we talking about?
Oh, anyway ... I lost track of waht I was going to say...
Frank F _________________ Be thankful for the bad things in life. They opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. email: thevoice@usa.com |
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Doc Guest
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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You kids, behave! I have y'all beat chronologically. Sometimes I feel like I'm 17, sometimes, like 87. Point is - I'm still feeling. <weg>
Oh yeah... at my age I have only one thing shorter than my memory. And....
WE AIN'T GOING THERE! |
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