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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:21 pm Post subject: Critique on Commercial and Audiobook Demos |
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Hello, Everyone!
I was hoping to get some feedback on my commercial and audiobook demos. My demos were produced by Terry Daniel, but I've done some work with another coach since, and they mentioned that they don't show off enough versatility (I'll admit it, my ego's a little bruised, haha.) Would love to hear what others think, namely which spots, if any will survive the chopping block, and any suggestions on how to show more range.
Also, I've heard contrasting opinions about audiobook demos. I've listened to talent on audible who have fully produced (music, sound effects) demos like mine, but I've also heard that it's best to just have the voice, and nothing but the voice. Anyone willing to weigh in on this?
If you've made it this far, thank you so much, and I eagerly await your feedback. Have a great day, everyone!
Warmest Regards,
Sean _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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vkuehn DC

Joined: 24 Apr 2013 Posts: 688 Location: Vernon now calls Wisconsin home
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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Sean: There is no link to your audio. I tried telepathy but the static was too loud.  |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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Argh, a rookie mistake. Thanks for pointing that out!
http://dailyvo.com/
Let me know if you have any trouble with the link, vkuehn! _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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Ed Fisher DC

Joined: 05 Sep 2012 Posts: 605 Location: East Coast, U.S.A.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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I particularly like the narration and the book demo seemed also to be fine.
However, I take issue with your commercial demo.
Your commercial demo came out to around 1:14. I think it would be better at :30
I don't particularly think that the different cuts reflect the same so much...but (I noticed, particularly in the first cut) I'm going ...WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?
Once I've heard what you can do...MOVE ON. Otherwise you are wasting my time. Give me 6-8 seconds...then CUT Anymore than that is simply torture to someone who is listening for auditioning purposes.
One man's opinion. Worth what you paid. _________________ "I reserve the right to be completely wrong." |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks so much, Clutter! That's funny, my narration is probably my least favorite. (Could be the music on the first spot.) Great advice regarding the commercial demo, I'll see what I can do!
And thank you for taking the extra time to listen to my narration demo! _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 5:20 am Post subject: |
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took your advice, clutter, and was able to chop off about 30 seconds. This is a very rough cut, and if i decide to finalize the changes, I'll have Terry or another engineer implement them, but here goes.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/wjm9e48tdeqlvhk/sean-commercial-short-edit.mp3?dl=0
I couldn't find any good breaks to shorten up the final spot, any suggestions would be welcome, although I am happy it's down to 45 seconds overall. _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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FinMac Lucky 700

Joined: 14 Jan 2013 Posts: 707 Location: In a really cool place...Finland!
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 12:02 am Post subject: overall quite good stuff |
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The 3 demos that I listened to were all quite good. Perhaps Cutter is correct that the commercial demo is a little long.
Tried to listen to the shorted Commercial demo but the link was "not good".
Like the narration demo. Now some nit-picking:
Noticed something small at the end of the last spot on the narration demo, It sounds like you say, "fluen" instead of fluent.
There was also something that I could not figure out in the narration demo. You are speaking about Boston Scientific, then about a country in South America. Was that the same spot ? If not, they sound so similar that it was impossible to tell when one ended and the other started.
Overall, I like your work a lot! _________________ www.scottsvoiceover.com - An American voice in Finland
"If you want to get to the top, you have to get off your bottom". (Unknown) |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Sat May 23, 2015 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment, Scott! And thank you for the kind compliment. I`m a fan of your demos as well!
I will try to post the shortened demo file again soon. It was over a month since I posted, so I think the link may have been removed.
I understand the confusion of the Boston Scientific spot. It`s an internal spot talking up a business retreat for some of their top employees,
I`ll give the demos another listen, and talk to Terry to see if we can arrange any re-records/ remastering.
Thank you everyone for taking the time to listen and give feedback! _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper

Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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Posted: Tue May 26, 2015 4:18 am Post subject: |
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I'm not in a position to listen to your aduobook demos right now, but if they have music and sound effects, get rid of it. Any audiobook demo should be dry unless you want to demo being a part of a full cast audio drama. But that shouldn't be your sole audiobook demo sine that's a tiny niche of the business.
You should have one demo for each type of audiobook work you want to get. And, except for an audio drama demo, they should all be free of effects and music. _________________ Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Tue May 26, 2015 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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Jeff, thank you so much for weighing in. Your feedback is huge in this area. I still have the raw demo files, so I'll tinker around with them, and see if I can get something I'm happy with. If not, I'll ask Terry for help in remastering the audiobook demo. Thanks again.
Warmest Regards,
Sean _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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yarg28 Been Here Awhile

Joined: 25 Aug 2014 Posts: 267 Location: Indiana
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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I dont agree that the commercial demo needs to be shorter (not saying it would hurt either) BUT I think that the current cuts make it seem loooong because they are each very long. You should have about 8 cuts in a demo this long. You have 5. So as I listen I just keep waiting for the next cut and I kind of zone out the last 5-6 seconds of the current cut since I've essentially heard what I came for in the first 5 seconds of it. |
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sdaeley17 Club 300

Joined: 04 Sep 2013 Posts: 338 Location: Port Orchard, WA
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Yarg!
I took yours and Clutters advice and cut each spot to about 8 seconds. You can find the Dropbox link a few posts above this one. Thanks for taking the time to listen and offer feedback!
Warmest Regards,
Sean _________________ "There's Magic all around us; you just have to see it. And the most wonderful Magic of all, is just bein' alive." -Uncle Montork, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe |
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