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Moosevoice
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Joined: 16 Nov 2012
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Location: Iowa
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Bruce
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Location: Portland, OR
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 Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:27 am Post subject: |
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It's very "I'm a radio guy" to me. Almost all of the cuts have the pushy, breathy sound of a disc jockey. Even the last cut (Centerra?) while a more natural read was very compressed so it sounded like it was a radio station spot. Also because of this, little of your own personality came through. How are you different from all of the other radio guys?
While I'm sure there's work for radio people out there, you'll open yourself up to a much bigger world of possibilities if you pull back on the reads and pull back on the productions effects.
B
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Bob Bergen
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 9:51 am Post subject: |
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| Agree with Bruce. Now this may just be your style. But vo is not about the voice, it's about the personality behind the voice. Not quite sure what yours is from your demo. You do that announcer read great. But it's a little dated for today's market. |
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Rick Riley
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Joined: 12 Aug 2011
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Location: Portland, OR
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 10:04 am Post subject: |
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Hey Moose, ya got 10 seconds to get me and that first cut didn't do it. However I went to your V123 page and clicked on your 2011 demo. I know the demo is seven years old, but the opening cut sounded more 'today' than your today demo does.
While you're making your new demo, you ought to ditch the 2011 off your V123 Demo. Nobody will know it's not recent unless you tell. them.
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Moosevoice
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Joined: 16 Nov 2012
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Location: Iowa
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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Awesome fellers. I appreciate the feedback.
I'll incorporate these into the next version.
Might need to get some coaching too.
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Art
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Joined: 27 Sep 2017
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Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2018 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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What sticks out to me is in the first one the music is so distant and washed-out compared to your voice. You sound very up front and compressed, and the music sounds unaffected.
Editing-wise, in the second one everything is more balanced, but I'm confused by, "Introducing Nissan Kicks!," and then, "I just had to." Who's saying "I just had to?" Trim that guy out.
"Red tag sales event!" That one only seems to last as long as that line before we're onto the next track. Trim that.
"Click it or ticket" and the Centera one sound the best.
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Moosevoice
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Art
Contributor III
Joined: 27 Sep 2017
Posts: 78
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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The production value of this one is world's apart from the previous one.
So please revert to the previous one. This one makes me feel threatened.
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11067
Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Individuality, personality, affability and your unique inner performer. Everything else? They got a plug-in for that.
Bon chance! |
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Moosevoice
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Bailey
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Joined: 04 Jun 2005
Posts: 4336
Location: Lake San Marcos... north of Connie, northwest of the Best.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, I was beginning to hear the real "you", in the Centarra clip. I believe it was before the last clip.
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Rick Riley
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Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Posts: 807
Location: Portland, OR
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| Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Moosevoice wrote: | | Did a new pass. |
Wait a second. A new pass. Almost a year later??? I’m guessing this wasn’t a top ten on your priorities list.
Critique: You were reading about the burgers but weren’t tasting them at all. And when I heard no more lines, I thought you were still talking about the burger place. No difference at all in those two reads.
I’d lead with the ‘No more lines…’ clip. You sound like that’s a good thing and you’re into it.
The ‘Not Forgiving’? IMO, that script is not you. It’s forced. Again, my opinion, but you don’t growl well. You can do that spot with just the contrast of saying ‘not forgiving / forgiving’ without growling it.
Nissan…again it sounds forced. And Nissan being a HUGE national spot with someone who would be very smooth in the read, with the read you gave it, it REALLY sounds forced.
TEXDOT. Again, you’re not telling them they better buckle up, you sound like you’re trying to make buckling up sound like it’s a movie trailer. I’ve done a lot of those spots for drunk driving here in Oregon (ODOT) and on the East Coast for outrunning trains at the crossing. I get hired because I have a deeper register that sounds serious, but I don’t force the read. I just tell em, ‘The train WILL stop. About a mile after it hits you.’ Where I’m going here, is just TELL them! Let the copy and production (maybe a siren or a police radio in the background) reinforce the gravity of NOT doing it.
Centera. Good! That’s something I could see you booking. Your voice and the read are perfect for that.
You’ve got a nice voice. A lot more versatile than mine. I get the serious stuff, the NFL stuff, the lower register stuff. You’re mid-range. You can go up or down and there’s a lot of work in that range. Not to say that you can’t do an intense read, but you aren’t showing it in this demo and what you are showing, again, IMO, is that you CAN’T do it at this point without it sounding forced. So don’t do those type of reads until you can.
I rarely critique other’s demos, and NEVER at this length, but this time I did. Hope it helps.
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Moosevoice
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Joined: 16 Nov 2012
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Location: Iowa
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 11:51 am Post subject: |
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Rick,
Thanks so much for the listen and thoughts.
This demo is a compilation of actual paid gigs I've done so what you hear is what the clients wanted.
I've never really cut a demo with other/scripted-just-for-demo purposes type stuff but I suppose I should do that.
Your honest critique definitely helps. Between the full-time job, shlepping for voice jobs and dealing with 2 young kids (1 which is special needs) it's hard to get to some of these important tasks sometimes.
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Rick Riley
Flight Attendant
Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Posts: 807
Location: Portland, OR
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Moosevoice wrote: | | Between the full-time job, shlepping for voice jobs and dealing with 2 young kids (1 which is special needs) it's hard to get to some of these important tasks sometimes. |
I’m totally with you on that and special needs is often family duties squared.
As far as the demo, I was listening on a ‘National’ level and while those were actual spots, it highlights the difference between how smaller, local productions vs. higher tier spots are written and produced.
If you want some hints on how to produce your own and need a little help, email me. I’ve done a lot of them and I’ll be glad to offer up what I can, no charge.
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ConnieTerwilliger
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Joined: 07 Dec 2004
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Location: San Diego - serving the world
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