VO-BB - 20 YEARS OLD!

[Deirdre]

Fount this in the Annie's Mailbox today. Thought it was neat without being glurgy.

Golden Rules for Living by Miriam Hamilton Keare


1. If you open it, close it.

2. If you turn it on, turn it off.

3. If you unlock it, lock it up.

4. If you break it, admit it.

5. If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.

6. If you borrow it, return it.

7. If you value it, take care of it.

8. If you make a mess, clean it up.

9. If you move it, put it back.

10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.

11. If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.

12. If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.
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DBCooperVO.com
IMDB

[Craig]

That's going on the fridge!

Happy New Year everyone.

Craig

[todd ellis]

stuck up there with the magnet from the vet!
_________________
"i know philip banks": todd ellis
who's/on/1st?

[melissa eX]

This is what's stuck on MY fridge with the vet magnet. One of those e-mails that made the rounds a few years ago that I HAD to keep.

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print
in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space
is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline
attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
Is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[mcm]

13. If you don't use it, give it to someone who will.

[bobbinbeamo]

Thanks for the non-glurgy post. I try to learn something new each day.
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Bobbin Beam
www.bobbinbeam.com
blog.bobbinbeam.com